I have a theory about piñatas:

I have a theory about piñatas:

It was a man who invented the first piñata,

but it was his wife who filled it with candy.

What’s a piñata?  Here’s a quick definition:

Hispanic -  a decorated papier-mâché container of candy or small gifts that is hung and is hit and broken open by a blindfolded person.

If you’ve ever watched America’s Funniest Videos, then you are familiar with piñatas.  What makes them exciting for the children is candy (flavored sugar)!  What makes them exciting for the adults is the same sense of danger in skydiving or bungee jumping.  When the children unleash their blindfolded fury on the unsuspecting piñata, this sense of dread is replaced by either the explosion of candy raining from above, or the explosion of pain in some adult who was not paying close enough attention.

Sometimes, life is like that.  Some days you’re on the giving end of the stick and some days you’re on the receiving end.  Sometimes life comes at us in a fury of blows.

My favorite instructor once stated, “Life is neither neat, nor fair.  But, life is good and worth the living.”  This is true.

The question then, is this:  when life is messy and unfair, or even scary and painful - when life hits you unexpectedly, and then hits you again – what comes out of you?  Is it sweet? Uplifting? Honoring?  Or, does it tend to be harsh? Abrasive? Insulting?  When you are overly stressed (and that is almost everyone at some point), do your words and actions and attitudes build people up or tear them down?

I am convinced that our actions reveal our beliefs.  In other words, our beliefs are revealed in our actions.  What will our actions and attitudes teach our children about handling the pressures of life?  How will our children learn to handle relational friction by watching our example?  What will we model as the correct way to handle the problems in life? 

Do we talk about forgiveness?  That’s good.  Then, do we walk the talk - putting our advice into action?  That is very good!  When our children see us live the example of what we teach them, they see our words put into action.  We teach by saying do as I say, and here is how you do it.

They will see that when life is messy and unfair, or even scary and painful - when life hits you unexpectedly, and then hits you again – what comes out of you can be sweet… uplifting… even honoring to God and others.  They will learn that words and actions and attitudes can build people up instead of tearing them down.

Do you travel alone?

I believe that we walk through many valleys in life.  Some are pleasantly trying, and some are terrifyingly dark and painful.  Some are valleys of our own choosing; some, of our own making.  Sometimes we follow the crowd into valleys, and some valleys we stumble into blindly.  Sometimes, we travel alone.  However we get there, our lives are marked by these trials – these valleys.

 Ya know, there’s a funny thing about valleys.  Valleys are not a place you go to, valleys are a place you go through.  A valley is a tunnel with no roof.  You enter at one end, travel all the way through and out the other side.

Scripture is clear that if you choose to do so, God will let you go through these trials alone (Luke 15; Romans 1).  When we choose to do so, God gives us over to do whatever shameful things our hearts desire – He let’s us go.  We will travel alone…  alone and lonely.  Facing whatever harm awaits, we will face it alone.  Facing the evils which lurk in the shadows, we will face them alone.  Having told God, “I don’t want You.  I’ll do this by myself.” He will honor our choice and let us go… alone and lonely.

On the other hand, Scripture is equally clear that we can choose to walk with God, and we will never walk alone.

“Yes, even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid of anything, because You are with me.  You have a walking stick with which to guide and one with which to help.  These comfort me.”  Psalm 23.4 (NLV)

We can reach up and take God’s hand, and walk with Him – side by side.  He will guide us through the valley.  He will guard us from the evil in the shadows and protect us from that which would harm us.

Make no mistake.  You come to God on His terms, or you do not come to God.  He does not negotiate.  He does not make deals.  He makes an offer.  He offers a free gift, and He offers it, “as is”… take it or leave it.

And when, finally, you come to the final valley – that dark valley of the shadow of death – God will allow you to take Him by the hand.  He will take you into that valley… all the way through… out the other side and on to home…

 …and you will have nothing to fear, for He is with you.

Do you need a do-over?

Sometimes I need a do-over.  Life is neither neat, nor fair, and sometimes it simply gets heavier than I can carry.  I need to wipe the slate clean, start over, reset… I need a do-over.

The Bible tells us, “Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.  But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear” (Isaiah 59.1-2).

Being a guy, my first reaction is, “Hey, I can fix this!  If it’s bad that has caused this problem, then I’ll do good to fix it.”

But, the Bible also tells us, “We are all infected and impure with sin.  When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags.  Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind” (Isaiah 64.6).  And, “without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9.22).

Guess what.  I cannot fix this.  My sins have separated me from God, and I am helpless to change that.  So, I do my “sin list”.  It is the thing I hate to do more than anything else, but it must be done.  I start by sitting down with a pad of paper and a pen – no phones, no people, no distractions, no interruptions.  Then, I begin, “Father, I have sinned against you.  What have I allowed to come between us?  What have I put in Your place in my life?  What have I pursued instead of You?”

Varied things, specific things will flood my mind – faster than I’m able to put on paper.  But, I do put them on paper.  I record my sins on paper as God lists them in my mind as a Judge would list charges against the accused... and I know that I am guilty.  Each charge hits me like a tidal wave, crushing me with a shuddering crash.

Then, “Ok, Lord, what else?”  And, the process begins again...  and, again… and again… as many times as it takes until there is nothing left undone.  When my list, my sin list, is complete, I begin to confess it – one item at a time – to God.  Agreeing with Him about the putrid nature of my own sin, and begging Him to please forgive me, I pour my soul out before Him.  I collapse at His feet like a small child who knows that he has disappointed Dad and broken His heart.

And then, I am ashamed

…of all that I allowed to come between my Lord and I…

…of all that I wrongly put into His rightful place in my life…

…of all that I wholeheartedly chased after…

…of all that I did to neglect and reject the God who loves me so much that
He would rather die than live without me…

I place my list of confessed sins in the BBQ pit and pray, “Lord, I am ashamed of all that this list represents.  I want to hide it from You, but I know that You desire every bit of me – including the bad and the ugly.  So, here it is.  I present this most unworthy gift as an act of obedience to You.”

And then, I light the 4 corners of the paper.  In my mind’s eye, what I observe next is that God scoops up that list and crumbles it up in flames… and it is gone.  It will never return.  It’s vanished.

It’s gone and I’m forgiven (1 John 1.9).  And, it feels as if I dropped a telephone pole from across my shoulders to the ground.  And then, I drop, too.  I am little more than a puddle of jelly.  I’ve got nothing left.  I am spent.

And then God…                     (Matthew 11.28)

… scoops me up in His gentle hands and wraps His strong arms around me…

… loves me up close and whispers to me:

“Thank you”…

“Of course I forgive you”…

“I’ve missed you, too”…

“I wondered how long you would carry that load”

“Welcome home”

I need to leave nothing undone.  So now, I have a 2^nd list.  It's a list of people I’ve sinned against.  I need to confess my sins and seek their forgiveness, too.

Do you need a do-over?

Sometimes I need a do-over.  Life is neither neat, nor fair, and sometimes it simply gets heavier than I can carry.  I need to wipe the slate clean, start over, reset… I need a do-over.

I guess it’s time to repent and seek forgiveness again.

my Bucket lists... 1 John 1.9

Suddenly, I realized that I was exhausted.  I was exhausted and could not take another step.  My shoulders, arms, back and even my hands ached.  So, in a heap, I collapsed between the two buckets I had been carrying.  I could not go on.  This was as far as I was going to make it.  Furthermore, though my physical exhaustion was much easier to recognize and identify, I was emotionally spent, as well.

So, at last I began to look around me.  As if for the first time, I noticed that the buckets had something in them.  Oh, I knew they were full, but I had not given any thought as to what they held.  So, from the bucket on my right, I removed a piece of rubble – broken concrete which had no value.  It was about the size of a good cantaloupe and weighed a few pounds.

“Why am I carrying this thing around?  It’s not even mine; it belongs to someone else.  How did it get into my bucket?”  Well, it had been placed in my bucket, so without thinking about it, I carried it.  I had been carrying it faithfully… No.  No, I had been carrying it blindly for at least 6 months now.  But, it did not belong to me, so I threw it away. 

That felt good.

So, I reached back into the bucket and came up with another piece of rubble.  This one didn’t belong to me either, but I had stolen this one.  I felt responsible for this one, so I put it into my own bucket and had carried it ever since.  But, it did not belong to me, so I threw it away. 

That felt good, too.

Over and again I reached into that bucket that was filled with rubble which did not belong to me.  And, one piece at a time, I threw it all away.  I was bewildered that anyone could be dumb enough to carry a bucket like that.  But I had.  When I reached the bottom of the bucket, I didn’t need it anymore, because I had nothing to carry in it.  So, I threw it away, too.  Good?  It felt great!  It was downright liberating.

So, enthusiastically, I turned to the other bucket and removed yet another piece of rubble.  Uh oh, oh no, this one did belong to me.  I did this one and it was my responsibility.  I turned to God, with eyes downcast, “Lord, I did this.  It was nothing but my own selfish pride and I was wrong.  Will You please forgive me?”

You know what?  He did forgive me.  Then, He said, “What else is there in that bucket you’ve been carrying?”

So, I reached back into the bucket and came up with another piece of rubble.  Ouch!  This one not only belonged to me, but it had been worn smooth from frequent use.  I turned to God, with eyes downcast, “Lord, I did this, too.  It was nothing but my own selfish pride and I was wrong.  Will You please forgive me?”

You know what?  He did forgive me.  Then, once again, He said, “What else is there in that bucket?”

Over and again I reached into that bucket that was filled with my own rubble.  And, one by one, I brought them to my heavenly Father.  I confessed each and every one to Him, and I asked Him if there was any way that He could forgive me for yet another item on my list of sins that seemed to grow by the moment.  This was excruciating.  It was humiliating.  But, He did forgive me – one item at a time.  Then, in turn, I threw them all away.  I was bewildered that anyone could be dumb enough to carry a bucket like that for so long.  But I had.

When I reached the bottom of the bucket, I didn’t need it anymore either, because I had nothing left to carry in it.  So, I threw it away, too.  Good?  No, not good.  It felt glorious!

And, there I sat empty-handed, exhausted but refreshed and unhindered by the sins that had so easily entangled me for so long.  God had permitted me to dump them out and He took them away.  I was free - free to take Him by the hand, and He helped me to my feet.  My legs were still a bit wobbly, but I could lean on Him for stability.

When, I finally looked to see where I was, I turned around to discover what should have been no surprise.  That long, arduous journey which took me in so many circles, had, at long last, taken me right back to the cross.  

And, at that moment, it did not enter my mind that
He had taken away the sins of the world.  

All that I could think was that He had taken away mine.

Tonight, I watched another miracle happen!

Tonight I watched another miracle happen.  God reaches into lives torn apart by the ravages of sin.  Our sin affects our relationship with God.  Our sin affects others.  But people don’t seek out counsel when they are tempted.  I don’t get to meet them until sin has given birth and relationships are dying.

“each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.  Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”  James 1.14-15

However, these dying relationships are symptoms – symptoms of what has become the pattern of this relationship.  This dying is the grandchild of the evil desires of the individuals.   

There is an abundance of strong emotion being churned out by wounds, some of them fresh and some festering.  When this happens, anger is prevalent.  There is a lot of jabbing at each other.  There is much dredging up of lists of grievances.  There is a tearing of the heart – loathing the thought of being hurt anymore and yearning for reconciliation.

When this becomes another round in the ongoing fight, I call time-out and draw attention to myself - I draw attention away from them.  To derail this runaway train, I ask, “What is it you want to accomplish here?”  Their answers generally will not match the behavior they’ve just displayed.  So, I pursue their answers. 

I educate:

• Forgiveness does not require anything.  I can forgive anyone.
• Repentance does not require forgiveness.  I can repent whether I'm forgiven or not.  But, repentance does require that I seek forgiveness.
• Reconciliation requires both repentance and forgiveness.  The relationship cannot mend without both.

I encourage:

• Ephesians 5.21-33
• 1 Peter 2.19-23; 3.9-12
• Philippians 2.3-4

I instruct:

• Leave nothing undone on your part.  Seek forgiveness for everything you’ve done wrong.  Ask, “Will you please forgive me?”
• Grant forgiveness.  Say, “I do forgive you.”

I pray with them:

• Lord, please clean and bind their wounds so they will heal and not become infected.

• Lord, please wrap your arms around them like a warm blanket and hold them tight and close.
• Lord, please pour Your peace over them like a healing, soothing ointment.
• Lord, please convict them over the things for which they need to seek forgiveness.
• Lord, please surround their home with Your angels to protect them from all enemies of the cross (Psalm 91.11), so that their home will become a sanctuary where peace will begin to reign.
• Lord, please breathe hope into their lives.  Please calm their storms.  Please heal what is hurt, fix what is broken, and clean what is dirty.
• Lord, please teach them how to do the hard work of seeking forgiveness, repenting, and changing things so that this crisis will not continue on this downhill slide.

I watched one of these couples hold hands while we prayed tonight.  I watched them change from attacking to acknowledging their own responsibility for wrongs.  I watched them walk through the door with hope.

Tonight, I watched another miracle happen!