hearts unhindered: 911 or Marriage Tune-up?

One of my favorite tools to recommend to couples, either married or engaged, is a marriage conference. It is like a mini-vacation or a mini-honeymoon. Or, it can also be a hospital or Emergency Room. Or it can be an intervention.

We went to our 1st marriage conference when we were still newlyweds. It was like a mini-honeymoon and strong emotions abounded. We had no problems, no difficulties. Everything was wonderful and we soaked up some amazing advice from couples who were decades ahead of us. They learned it all the hard way and were giving it to us so we could learn it the easy way. Certainly, we would be a shining example to inspire other couples over the years with the beauty of what marriage was intended to be. And, we even prayed that this would be the case.

We went to our 2nd marriage conference when we were married about 15 years. It was like a mini-intervention and strong emotions abounded. We did have some problems, some difficulties. Everything was not as wonderful as we wanted it to be, and we soaked up some amazing advice from couples who were decades ahead of us. They learned it all the hard way and we were, too. We were still wanting to be a shining example to inspire other couples over the years with the beauty of what marriage was intended to be. But, now we were having to overcome our own immaturity, our own selfishness, our own pride.

God grabbed hold of me as I walked through the door, stood me in front of a mirror, and showed me parts of myself that I did not want to see. In fact, I had been deliberately avoiding those ugly parts of my life for some time. I was so immature, self-centered and bull-headed. I repented and sought forgiveness from God. Then, I sought forgiveness from my wife. When we returned home, I also sought forgiveness from our children.

After God ‘took me to the woodshed’, the rest of the marriage conference was like a mini-honeymoon and strong emotions abounded. We had learned to drag our problems into the light so we could change them together. Life was wonderful because we had learned how to weather storms together. We soaked up some amazing advice from couples who were decades ahead of us. They learned it all the hard way and were teaching us how to do the same. If we relied on God, the inventor of marriage, we could be a shining example to inspire other couples over the years with the beauty of what marriage was intended to be. And, we continue to pray that this would be the case.

The 2 marriage conferences I recommend in particular are: