tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80775237416474612702024-03-05T06:14:36.324-06:00hearts unhinderedCarlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-920005430182945102011-11-01T21:08:00.000-05:002011-11-01T21:08:35.600-05:00I have a theory about piñatas:<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have a theory about piñatas:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was a man who invented the first piñata,</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">but it was his wife who filled it with candy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What’s a piñata?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here’s a quick definition:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhswS_t3cphJXlEWQw-UTwJNbnXUmg03M1U4Lklk2DoY7es05L-j6H1-4_uI8-40FsjIrwQHD0p2uxvas8cu4L-lAzG2lanJnPVGrIbAD1HGFGNrJJT62EngIH0Vu-ybjJrZHPKsAHEmZc/s1600/pinata.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhswS_t3cphJXlEWQw-UTwJNbnXUmg03M1U4Lklk2DoY7es05L-j6H1-4_uI8-40FsjIrwQHD0p2uxvas8cu4L-lAzG2lanJnPVGrIbAD1HGFGNrJJT62EngIH0Vu-ybjJrZHPKsAHEmZc/s1600/pinata.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hispanic - </span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>a decorated papier-mâché container of candy or small gifts that is hung and is hit and broken open by a blindfolded person.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you’ve ever watched America’s Funniest Videos, then you are familiar with piñatas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What makes them exciting for the children is candy (flavored sugar)!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What makes them exciting for the adults is the same sense of danger in skydiving or bungee jumping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When the children unleash their blindfolded fury on the unsuspecting piñata, this sense of dread is replaced by either the explosion of candy raining from above, or the explosion of pain in some adult who was not paying close enough attention.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes, life is like that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some days you’re on the giving end of the stick and some days you’re on the receiving end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes life comes at us in a fury of blows.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My favorite instructor once stated, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Life is neither neat, nor fair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, life is good and worth the living.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is true.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The question then, is this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>when life is messy and unfair, or even scary and painful - when life hits you unexpectedly, and then hits you again – what comes out of you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it sweet? Uplifting? Honoring?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, does it tend to be harsh? Abrasive? Insulting?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When you are overly stressed (and that is almost everyone at some point), do your words and actions and attitudes build people up or tear them down?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I am convinced that our actions reveal our beliefs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In other words, our beliefs are revealed in our actions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What will our actions and attitudes teach our children about handling the pressures of life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How will our children learn to handle relational friction by watching our example?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What will we model as the correct way to handle the problems in life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Do we talk about forgiveness?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, do we walk the talk - putting our advice into action?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is very good!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When our children see us live the example of what we teach them, they see our words put into action.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We teach by saying do as I say, and here is how you do it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They will see that when life is messy and unfair, or even scary and painful - when life hits you unexpectedly, and then hits you again – what comes out of you can be sweet… uplifting… even honoring to God and others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They will learn that words and actions and attitudes can build people up instead of tearing them down.</span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-8138740985284700642011-10-18T20:57:00.000-05:002011-10-18T20:57:50.095-05:00Do you travel alone?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I believe that we walk through many valleys in life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are pleasantly trying, and some are terrifyingly dark and painful.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are valleys of our own choosing; some, of our own making.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes we follow the crowd into valleys, and some valleys we stumble into blindly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes, we travel alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However we get there, our lives are marked by these trials – these valleys.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb9fBhDpNvnq_GgZjjmKsfeQUfmyIn0TRf1TREbBLT2OC3SRnqCbXp5_88yW2yGNdY-KfSzPu7Fqp4Z8oChLjnAKdtFebYpmo8iZpmRUA5Ydwk8GB4aa8OEs1T_pRV_XVU0_Ajwd1Cs_I/s1600/Death_Valley_Tin_Street_Sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="78" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgb9fBhDpNvnq_GgZjjmKsfeQUfmyIn0TRf1TREbBLT2OC3SRnqCbXp5_88yW2yGNdY-KfSzPu7Fqp4Z8oChLjnAKdtFebYpmo8iZpmRUA5Ydwk8GB4aa8OEs1T_pRV_XVU0_Ajwd1Cs_I/s400/Death_Valley_Tin_Street_Sign.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Ya know, there’s a funny thing about valleys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Valleys are not a place you go to, valleys are a place you go through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A valley is a tunnel with no roof.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You enter at one end, travel all the way through and out the other side.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Scripture is clear that if you choose to do so, God will let you go through these trials alone (Luke 15; Romans 1).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we choose to do so, God gives us over to do whatever shameful things our hearts desire – He let’s us go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will travel alone…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>alone and lonely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Facing whatever harm awaits, we will face it alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Facing the evils which lurk in the shadows, we will face them alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having told God, “I don’t want You.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll do this by myself.” He will honor our choice and let us go… alone and lonely.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the other hand, Scripture is equally clear that we can choose to walk with God, and we will never walk alone.</span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">“Yes, even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will not be afraid of anything, because You are with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have a walking stick with which to guide and one with which to help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These comfort me.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Psalm 23.4 (NLV)</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We can reach up and take God’s hand, and walk with Him – side by side.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will guide us through the valley.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will guard us from the evil in the shadows and protect us from that which would harm us.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Make no mistake.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You come to God on His terms, or you do not come to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He does not negotiate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He does not make deals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He makes an offer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He offers a free gift, and He offers it, “as is”… take it or leave it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And when, finally, you come to the final valley – that dark valley of the shadow of death – God will allow you to take Him by the hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He will take you into that valley… all the way through… out the other side and on to home…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAmJ4d-FqsueL40LsjXWZ2YYC7hyjtHTHkkzxywR4KRklDHQ3M93euHh3jyzXrof3rZLMbSw2jzeq7NwXyvqCz3ZUbyGP01R5AWlJqUvApmsVME5L6E38A-hKs_W6F58J7kyYgXi5vYV4/s1600/fear+no+evil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAmJ4d-FqsueL40LsjXWZ2YYC7hyjtHTHkkzxywR4KRklDHQ3M93euHh3jyzXrof3rZLMbSw2jzeq7NwXyvqCz3ZUbyGP01R5AWlJqUvApmsVME5L6E38A-hKs_W6F58J7kyYgXi5vYV4/s320/fear+no+evil.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> …and you will have nothing to fear, for He is with you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-57194051704761912002011-09-27T20:22:00.000-05:002011-09-27T20:22:07.113-05:00<!--[if !mso]> <style>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRrRAjDDQc7bFxMimsmBcLxKqNfPPUK0IxxV4OTn1T9ffmiwa2WmfLTtrLc5ytEqkGgAPhULgjT3W3kWFRFIvVmmAlnEhEArFplrN4huvVk9yxSdnwQHzp-Y322MOk-A1xz_H3lqR_I9E/s1600/8567534-buy-me-rubber-stamps-set-in-form-of-speech-bubbles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRrRAjDDQc7bFxMimsmBcLxKqNfPPUK0IxxV4OTn1T9ffmiwa2WmfLTtrLc5ytEqkGgAPhULgjT3W3kWFRFIvVmmAlnEhEArFplrN4huvVk9yxSdnwQHzp-Y322MOk-A1xz_H3lqR_I9E/s320/8567534-buy-me-rubber-stamps-set-in-form-of-speech-bubbles.jpg" width="257" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>IMPULSE BUY:</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>something a shopper buys on impulse, having had no previous intention of doing so.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">There’s a reason the stores put so many items near the register.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having seen them, we will want them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Often, that is all the motivation we will need to purchase something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The stores’ hope is that this will become a habit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Your children also notice these items.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, if it becomes a pattern on your part to purchase something to pacify your child, then this behavior will be reinforced for both of you. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your child got what he wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you got a reprieve from a potential tantrum.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">What your child has learned is this:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>if I make a threat of undesirable behavior, Dad or Mom will give me what I want!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Let’s face reality, we are all selfish, lazy critters.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wouldn’t we all prefer to have whatever we want, whenever we want it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wouldn’t we all like to call the shots in our life without having to submit to anyone or anything else?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course we would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Bible calls this sin and it’s just as true for your wonderful child as it is for that wonderful person in your mirror.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>For example, your child will learn that when he can wear Mom or Dad down enough, then they will give in. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or, if he gives them the choice between what he wants to do and some worse behavior, Dad and Mom will usually give him what he wants – “choosing the lesser of two evils”. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Why do parents give in?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, there’s a variety of reasons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We love our children and we want to “make them happy”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, I think if we truly examined why we give in so easily, I think we’d say because it pays off in the short-term – no more whining which means relief for my headache.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The “impulse buy” approach to parenting functions for the short-term.<span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"> So, what’s the problem?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>When this is our default pattern, then we are not parenting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Contrariwise, our children are in charge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When children are permitted to be in charge, then the family is not functioning properly. This is called a dysfunctional family. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Let me illustrate why. A truck can pull a trailer down the highway at 70 mph quite easily, because it is designed to work that way. The truck leads the trailer and determines every aspect of speed and direction. That truck can even push that trailer in reverse at low speeds, but this is more difficult. Now, if that truck attempts to push that trailer in reverse at 70 mph, then there will be severe damage to the trailer and truck both, because it was never intended to work that way. The trailer is not capable of leading the truck. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">In the same way, families which permit the children to be in charge were never intended to work that way, and </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">there will be severe damage to the family as a whole, as well as to each individual.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">This is part of why Scripture commands us:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">“<b><u>Train up</u></b> a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it</span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">” (Proverbs 22.6).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 9.5pt;"><i>"<u><b>Honor</b></u> your <b>father</b> and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you” </i>(Exodus 20.12).</span></div><div style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white;"><br />
</div><div style="background: white;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 9.5pt;"><i>“Fathers, <b><u>bring up</u></b> </i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 9.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><i>[your children]</i></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Verdana; font-size: 9.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><i> in the <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>discipline</u></b> and instruction of the Lord”</i> (Ephesians 6.4).</span></div><div style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> The word we translate as <u>discipline</u> in Ephesians 6.4 is an active verb, and is defined as follows:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
1) the whole training and education of children (<i>which relates to the cultivation of mind and morals, and employs for this purpose now commands and admonitions, now reproof and <br />
punishment</i>) It also includes the training and care of the body<br />
2) whatever in adults also cultivates the soul, esp. by correcting mistakes and curbing passions<br />
2a) instruction which aims at increasing virtue<br />
2b) chastisement, chastening, (of the evils with which God visits men for their amendment)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Therefore, if we, as parents, will be obedient to these verses, then we will cultivate our child(ren)s' hearts and minds through </span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><u>command</u>s, <u>rebuke</u>s, <u>reprimand</u>s and <u>punishment</u>s, to correct mistakes and curb their passions for the purpose of training and education to increase virtue. In other words, we will actively discourage their own sinful desires by clear instruction and boundaries. When they </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">defy those instructions and </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">cross those boundaries, then that is when the </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">rebukes, reprimands and punishments come into play. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The other half of this training and education involves encouraging virtuous behaviors and attitudes. Accept and reward what you want to see again. Refuse to accept what you do not want to see again. Then, put a price tag on that unacceptable behavior and make it higher than the child is willing to pay.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Here's the bottom line. The parent is to maintain control at all times, never relinquishing control to the child(ren). However, the parent must balance this control with love for the child. I call this style of parenting, "The Benevolent Dictator."</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial;"></span>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-80533268254379129142011-09-20T19:33:00.000-05:002011-09-20T19:33:51.584-05:00my 2 cents worth...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdxu-pkleoAjg3KmlCLo2w6w4_aH5S_EqXkOI-PKiQ7qBkxVLK78FnGTVUaV3p3bF0zBb-wc07zVLb8HR-fBLJxQAf8WgErzjADLP4kQR5AWks6nt_pgAG9T70-jQcDrlbBNXTJfHgGDY/s1600/2cents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdxu-pkleoAjg3KmlCLo2w6w4_aH5S_EqXkOI-PKiQ7qBkxVLK78FnGTVUaV3p3bF0zBb-wc07zVLb8HR-fBLJxQAf8WgErzjADLP4kQR5AWks6nt_pgAG9T70-jQcDrlbBNXTJfHgGDY/s320/2cents.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s often been said that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. It bothers me that there is some truth to this saying. But, if truth be told more fully, there’s a reason for that green grass. The grass is greener on your neighbor’s side of the fence because that is where the septic tank is buried… and you don’t want any part of that!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Here’s the full reality. The grass will be greenest where you choose to water it. Please allow me to translate this statement. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her to make her holy and clean… He did this to present her… as a glorious church… holy and without fault.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This means that, as husbands, we are to use our strengths to meet her needs. Men, we are to pour out who we are to build her up. We are to look not only to our own interests, but also to the interests of others, considering others as more important than ourselves (Philippians 2.3-4). In short, you are to treat her like she is the queen of your life. That’s watering the grass in your own yard. Men, you do this and no man will be able to compare with you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For wives, yield to your husbands, as you do to the Lord… As the church yields to Christ, so you wives should yield to your husbands. If the word yield or submit is abrasive to you, then fasten your seatbelt. But, know this. This is one of my wife’s favorite verses, and I’ll explain why in a moment.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Greek word translated as “yield” in this verse is more fully defined below:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><u><span style="font-family: Arial;">New Testament Greek Definition</span></u><span style="font-family: Arial;">:</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">1) to arrange under, to subordinate<br />
2) to subject, put in subjection<br />
3) to subject one's self, obey<br />
4) to submit to one's control<br />
5) to yield to one's admonition or advice<br />
6) to obey, be subject</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It is a Greek military term meaning, <i>"to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader"</i>. In non-military use, it was <i>"a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It is in the middle voice which indicates: the subject performing an action upon himself (reflexive action) or for his own benefit.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It is in the imperative mood, which corresponds to the English imperative, and expresses a <u>command</u> to the hearer to perform a certain action by the order and authority of the one commanding. Thus, Scripture’s phrase, <i>"wives, yield to your husbands"</i> (Ephesians 5.22) is not at all an "invitation," but an absolute command requiring full obedience on the part of all hearers.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, I know that some of you have already chosen to be offended. Well, dig down deep and grasp for some courage to finish reading. It won’t hurt, and might even be helpful.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I’ve already stated, this is one of my wife’s favorite verses. Here’s why: yielding, subjection, obeying, all means that while I love her in the same ways that Christ loved the Church, she gets to complete the picture. She gets to honor me like the Church is to honor our Lord. This does not mean that she worships me. But, it does mean that through her love and devotion, she builds me up. She also takes her strengths to meet my needs. In short, you are to treat him like he is the king of your life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s watering the grass in your own yard. Ladies, you do this and no woman will be able to compare with you. If they do manage to catch his eye, he will quickly realize that is where the septic tank is buried… and he won’t want any part of that!</span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-4167254366787915362011-09-08T20:28:00.000-05:002011-09-08T20:28:27.057-05:00911 or Marriage Tune-up?<span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of my favorite tools to recommend to couples, either married or engaged, is a marriage conference. It is like a mini-vacation or a mini-honeymoon. Or, it can also be a hospital or Emergency Room. Or it can be an intervention.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHpwHtbPsBsnkAw7-tLFTvECZg314yGdEyFfFHuFt-MbWKXCZoMhissaCdcAWqTjlMvzcJFEEOUkKb5NLyMv0B4Giy-wu_QXwCfLCFJfGJ4lECgagSVBGjc1CoGon-nyX2PRo9R4jgTwg/s1600/heartsedit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHpwHtbPsBsnkAw7-tLFTvECZg314yGdEyFfFHuFt-MbWKXCZoMhissaCdcAWqTjlMvzcJFEEOUkKb5NLyMv0B4Giy-wu_QXwCfLCFJfGJ4lECgagSVBGjc1CoGon-nyX2PRo9R4jgTwg/s1600/heartsedit.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We went to our 1st marriage conference when we were still newlyweds. It was like a mini-honeymoon and strong emotions abounded. We had no problems, no difficulties. Everything was wonderful and we soaked up some amazing advice from couples who were decades ahead of us. They learned it all the hard way and were giving it to us so we could learn it the easy way. Certainly, we would be a shining example to inspire other couples over the years with the beauty of what marriage was intended to be. And, we even prayed that this would be the case.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We went to our 2nd marriage conference when we were married about 15 years. It was like a mini-intervention and strong emotions abounded. We did have some problems, some difficulties. Everything was not as wonderful as we wanted it to be, and we soaked up some amazing advice from couples who were decades ahead of us. They learned it all the hard way and we were, too. We were still wanting to be a shining example to inspire other couples over the years with the beauty of what marriage was intended to be. But, now we were having to overcome our own immaturity, our own selfishness, our own pride.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">God grabbed hold of me as I walked through the door, stood me in front of a mirror, and showed me parts of myself that I did not want to see. In fact, I had been deliberately avoiding those ugly parts of my life for some time. I was so immature, self-centered and bull-headed. I repented and sought forgiveness from God. Then, I sought forgiveness from my wife. When we returned home, I also sought forgiveness from our children.</span><br />
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<div style="border-color: -moz-use-text-color -moz-use-text-color windowtext; border-style: none none solid; border-width: medium medium 1pt; padding: 0in 0in 1pt;"><div style="border: medium none; padding: 0in;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj3-rCwWf55DelPk7KJoryuagxtX7Uxa_ZYHQHL5Z4pvHjUrT_pLCUjzHM-YaXITukVTdjDLay94SyfOSVZIn_z_lVUwveodQw9yS8ZYE27tLKIES6vQwsj7lojxojcvxyAbx17EeKZJA/s1600/hearts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="95" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj3-rCwWf55DelPk7KJoryuagxtX7Uxa_ZYHQHL5Z4pvHjUrT_pLCUjzHM-YaXITukVTdjDLay94SyfOSVZIn_z_lVUwveodQw9yS8ZYE27tLKIES6vQwsj7lojxojcvxyAbx17EeKZJA/s200/hearts.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">After God ‘took me to the woodshed’, the rest of the marriage conference was </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">like a mini-honeymoon and strong emotions abounded. We had learned to drag our problems into the light so we could change them together. Life was wonderful because we had learned how to weather storms together. We soaked up some amazing advice from couples who were decades ahead of us. They learned it all the hard way and were teaching us how to do the same. If we relied on God, the inventor of marriage, we could be a shining example to inspire other couples over the years with the beauty of what marriage was intended to be. And, we continue to pray that this would be the case.</span><br />
</div></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The 2 marriage conferences I recommend in particular are:</span><br />
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<div style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-E_Zywr57uf_tJyqO7s2xYhJIEOrWJ2i6GlAFD8fvcQzXDoCTYxiRxUV0INz7aabO0uJbu3AJuqYoAKJWV_jrMbevyeENMU4MIa9RwWWVYrW6UhHzf5mt-nkSQR-nkVeZdIqQbtVoCI/s1600/wtr_events_2x1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjy-E_Zywr57uf_tJyqO7s2xYhJIEOrWJ2i6GlAFD8fvcQzXDoCTYxiRxUV0INz7aabO0uJbu3AJuqYoAKJWV_jrMbevyeENMU4MIa9RwWWVYrW6UhHzf5mt-nkSQR-nkVeZdIqQbtVoCI/s320/wtr_events_2x1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway: <a href="http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.5846045/k.8C0A/Weekend_to_Remember__Marriage_Getaway.htm">http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.5846045/k.8C0A/Weekend_to_Remember__Marriage_Getaway.htm</a></span><br />
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</div><div style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSFYGIX3Hrb1hJCbC_9T_0dDl-CeuUrRYp5cEmZBlVNsQ7J-49zKPRUkeJGLkyMuwsJHcswF7RC5Ng6I5eg4OdCRAtBI1BRDlfiK9Tu6EILMEcjuCDAX3Vk-SwPlUCbC8DJIm1u19nd8s/s1600/love_and_respect1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSFYGIX3Hrb1hJCbC_9T_0dDl-CeuUrRYp5cEmZBlVNsQ7J-49zKPRUkeJGLkyMuwsJHcswF7RC5Ng6I5eg4OdCRAtBI1BRDlfiK9Tu6EILMEcjuCDAX3Vk-SwPlUCbC8DJIm1u19nd8s/s320/love_and_respect1.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Love and Respect Conference: <a href="http://loveandrespect.com/conference-preview/">http://loveandrespect.com/conference-preview/</a></span><br />
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</div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-71360825713887425982011-09-01T20:06:00.000-05:002011-09-01T20:06:00.394-05:00Vote? or Opinion?<div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijIFBPYcKalA19gogFbsqtgnFtSL_U0bU7iyAGq26HVd49TKjQlKLjBzSMZGIBwQn2ALM70je4uURhBH72E5lujV9co7zY2BF6j9ZuqrGeUDi-dlVJdtOvOrool5ukEyBwrN0JQLZA49Y/s1600/warning+offensive+content.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijIFBPYcKalA19gogFbsqtgnFtSL_U0bU7iyAGq26HVd49TKjQlKLjBzSMZGIBwQn2ALM70je4uURhBH72E5lujV9co7zY2BF6j9ZuqrGeUDi-dlVJdtOvOrool5ukEyBwrN0JQLZA49Y/s320/warning+offensive+content.jpg" width="299" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">With this warning in mind, if you choose to be offended by the opinions I express, I am sorry that I just stepped on your toes, but I think the Lord was aiming for your heart.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Wow, where to begin! The problem is that too many people are confused about what they have and what they do not have. The reason is that most do not have what they think they have. In other words, what they have is not what they think it is.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Whew, now that I’ve cleared that up so well, let me explain what I’m talking about by illustrating. One particularly frazzled parent came to me with her child following leisurely behind her. It was clear that the child had no intention of doing what Mom wanted, or at least, not how Mom wanted it done. Translation: the child is in charge. This is too much responsibility for a preschooler. (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let me be clear: it is too much responsibility for any minor.</i>)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Once Mom poured out her frustration and exasperation through her tears, I asked for permission to speak with her child. Then, I addressed the child under the table and coaxed him to come out and talk with me. I leaned over, eye to eye and said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I need to ask you to forgive me, because we have confused you. We have allowed you to believe that you have something called a <u>vote</u>. What you have is called an <u>opinion</u>, but you do not have a vote. Here’s what that means: you get to listen to your teachers, and you get to obey your teachers. The adults will make all of the decisions for you, so you won’t have to make any more decisions about what you want to do here. You get to participate in the class activities, and you get to enjoy yourself. How does that sound to you?”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The metamorphosis was dramatic. This little boy gradually stood up straight and permitted a smile to spread across his whole face. It was sort of like a flower turning and expanding to meet the sunrise. Then, he said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Really?!”</i> And, when I assured him that it was true, the boy began to jump around with joy-filled excitement and ask his Mom if he could go back to his classroom right now.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Parents must never surrender control to any child! The children are not the parent. The parent is the parent. {<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let me know if I get to be too confusing.</i>} No child should have a vote unless the parent(s) decide that the child will have a vote. And, the parents can always out-vote the child(ren), but the child(ren) are not permitted the power to out-vote the parent(s). </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFMSDdifaiRY_0DhfntFY7wccqnymBsbxKEv5hRhaJihuEfhRiyVdXaiWKZuJxMrpVincQKGZmhvaxMSxidRisD6dUnSTar-qvpefMp6MXrg8zVs15VrAkKGaYVdQbwIcF2_EUB63wBcs/s1600/opinion.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320px" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFMSDdifaiRY_0DhfntFY7wccqnymBsbxKEv5hRhaJihuEfhRiyVdXaiWKZuJxMrpVincQKGZmhvaxMSxidRisD6dUnSTar-qvpefMp6MXrg8zVs15VrAkKGaYVdQbwIcF2_EUB63wBcs/s320/opinion.jpg" width="270px" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If this sounds dishonoring to the child(ren), then here is the balance. As the children grow older, I say something like this: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Your Mom and I have a decision to make concerning you, and we want your opinion.”</i> Then, when the youngster communicates his desires or preferences, I say again, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Alright, thanks for letting us know how you feel about it. We will keep it in mind as we make our decision.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Imagine a bridge with no side rails. Would you still travel over that bridge at 70 mph nearest the side? No, you would travel much slower and as close to the middle of the bridge as possible. Clearly, the rails do restrict our travel, by preventing us from plummeting off of the bridge. But, they do not inhibit us. Contrariwise, they provide a safe boundary which permits is to thrive and excel!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If boundaries are absent from the child’s life, including parental authority, then the child is forced to adjust in unhealthy ways. In essence, the child becomes responsible for his own well-being. That's what being in charge means here! But, when the child is confident that his parent(s) will make the necessary decisions to provide safe boundaries, then that child will have the freedom to thrive and excel!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The rest of the story is that, in simple things such as: ice cream flavors, which movie to see, which game we play for family nights, etc., we let the children decide. However, they never get to decide things like: relational boundaries, physical boundaries, curfews, etc. God gave them parents to make those decisions for them. It is part of keeping them safe, even from themselves. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let me summarize all of this: </span></div><ul><li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">C</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">hildren do <b>not </b>have something called a <u>vote</u>. What they have is called an <u>opinion</u>. They have a voice, but no vote. Here's the catch: their voice doesn't count until they give their obedience. No obedience = no voice.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Parents have a vote. Their voice is their vote. The parent is the ultimate authority in the home. They are in charge = responsible for the family's well-being. Think: Benevolent Dictator.</span></li>
</ul><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Parents, do not forget that a</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">s the children grow older, say something like this: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Your Mom and I have a decision to make concerning you, and we want your opinion.”</i> Then, when the youngster communicates his desires or preferences, say again, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Alright, thanks for letting us know how you feel about it. We will keep it in mind as we make our decision.”</i></span>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-40886183497262108212011-08-30T19:48:00.000-05:002011-08-30T19:48:36.367-05:00Do you need a do-over?<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sometimes I need a do-over. Life is neither neat, nor fair, and sometimes it simply gets heavier than I can carry. I need to wipe the slate clean, start over, reset… I need a do-over.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVC1cfcjj5pi12NWLXV14NeGaGgC4VNydXrwi6IAEHXmxF42sYUR7JYkrcof377Yv8Zw_LxWdRtoNW50jjEycSMPAql_8FPb0tz0YmnmpNg2baZwUCGBft6oDdsbvaBqAw0uU94RrZwbw/s1600/do-over.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVC1cfcjj5pi12NWLXV14NeGaGgC4VNydXrwi6IAEHXmxF42sYUR7JYkrcof377Yv8Zw_LxWdRtoNW50jjEycSMPAql_8FPb0tz0YmnmpNg2baZwUCGBft6oDdsbvaBqAw0uU94RrZwbw/s320/do-over.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Arial;">The Bible tells us, <i>“Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear. But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear”</i> (Isaiah 59.1-2).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Being a guy, my first reaction is, <i>“Hey, I can fix this! If it’s bad that has caused this problem, then I’ll do good to fix it.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">But, the Bible also tells us, <i>“We are all infected and impure with sin. When we display our righteous deeds, they are nothing but filthy rags. Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall, and our sins sweep us away like the wind”</i> (Isaiah 64.6). And, <i>“without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness”</i> (Hebrews 9.22).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Guess what. I cannot fix this. My sins have separated me from God, and I am helpless to change that. So, I do my “sin list”. It is the thing I hate to do more than anything else, but it must be done. I start by sitting down with a pad of paper and a pen – no phones, no people, no distractions, no interruptions. Then, I begin, <i>“Father, I have sinned against you. What have I allowed to come between us? What have I put in Your place in my life? What have I pursued instead of You?”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Varied things, specific things will flood my mind – faster than I’m able to put on paper. But, I do put them on paper. I record my sins on paper as God lists them in my mind as a Judge would list charges against the accused... and I know that I am guilty. Each charge hits me like a tidal wave, crushing me with a shuddering crash.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Then, <i>“Ok, Lord, what else?” </i>And, the process begins again... and, again… and again… as many times as it takes until there is nothing left undone. When my list, my sin list, is complete, I begin to confess it – one item at a time – to God. Agreeing with Him about the putrid nature of my own sin, and begging Him to please forgive me, I pour my soul out before Him. I collapse at His feet like a small child who knows that he has disappointed Dad and broken His heart.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">And then, I am ashamed</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">…of all that I allowed to come between my Lord and I…</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">…of all that I wrongly put into His rightful place in my life…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">…of all that I wholeheartedly chased after…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">…of all that I did to neglect and reject the God who loves me so much that</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">He would rather die than live without me…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">I place my list of confessed sins in the BBQ pit and pray, <i>“Lord, I am ashamed of all that this list represents. I want to hide it from You, but I know that You desire every bit of me – including the bad and the ugly. So, here it is. I present this most unworthy gift as an act of obedience to You.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">And then, I light the 4 corners of the paper. In my mind’s eye, what I observe next is that God scoops up that list and crumbles it up in flames… and it is gone. It will never return. It’s </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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</style> <![endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">vanished</span><span style="font-family: Arial;">.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It’s gone and I’m forgiven (1 John 1.9). And, it feels as if I dropped a telephone pole from across my shoulders to the ground. And then, I drop, too. I am little more than a puddle of jelly. I’ve got nothing left. I am spent.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">And then God… (Matthew 11.28)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">… scoops me up in His gentle hands and wraps His strong arms around me…</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">… loves me up close and whispers to me:</span><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Thank you”…</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Of course I forgive you”…</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“I’ve missed you, too”…</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“I wondered how long you would carry that load”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Welcome home”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I need to leave nothing undone. So </span><span style="font-family: Arial;">now, I have a 2<sup>nd</sup> list. It's a list of people I’ve sinned against. I need to confess my sins and seek their forgiveness, too.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Do you need a do-over?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Sometimes I need a do-over. Life is neither neat, nor fair, and sometimes it simply gets heavier than I can carry. I need to wipe the slate clean, start over, reset… I need a do-over.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I guess it’s time to repent and seek forgiveness again.</span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-9616652750888772902011-08-25T21:16:00.000-05:002011-08-25T21:16:12.298-05:00“We can’t find the heartbeat.”<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaQPJA8KZOUcALd7PKoXhFaLS7MkMkDQ9-fIuYkzaEkILtfqkdxAzIMriI1ElouGz-ngKCryzHrMuy5HCMsdEgHc9hHwhLgIiSkSigM7yjMhQBFdk35RKZ1EA938jxthCQLoyw2elJynY/s1600/flatlinegraph.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaQPJA8KZOUcALd7PKoXhFaLS7MkMkDQ9-fIuYkzaEkILtfqkdxAzIMriI1ElouGz-ngKCryzHrMuy5HCMsdEgHc9hHwhLgIiSkSigM7yjMhQBFdk35RKZ1EA938jxthCQLoyw2elJynY/s320/flatlinegraph.jpg" t8="true" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It was November 2005, and it was the 2<sup>nd</sup> time we’d heard this news. The 1<sup>st</sup> time was 6 years earlier while we were still living in <city w:st="on"><place w:st="on">Fort Worth</place></city> for seminary. Now, we were facing the possibility of another miscarriage. The 1<sup>st</sup> miscarriage was on my birthday. And, now, we were just a couple weeks from my son’s birthday. December 17 2005, Gabriel’s 8<sup>th</sup> birthday… our 2<sup>nd</sup> miscarriage… a most bittersweet day. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Once again, we faced not only our own grief, but also the intimidating task of explaining to our children that the baby in Mom’s belly was gone. It’s difficult enough to mourn the loss of someone you’ve never known, never seen, have no memories of, don’t know what they look like or who they are, and yet you love them so deeply. But, now I’ve got the additional responsibility of helping my children to process this, as well.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">We began to see the friction in how our children were acting out. They became very short with each other - yelling and anger increased while laughter decreased.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">So, here’s what we ended up doing. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><b><u><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Picnic Dinner</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> We picked up a couple of Pizzas & went to the State Park, where we knew we wouldn’t be disturbed. I set up a couple of lanterns on either end of the picnic table and we had a fun picnic dinner with laughter as one of the main courses.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><b><u><span style="font-size: 11pt;">Write a letter</span></u></b><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"> After dinner, I pulled out a sketch pad and some colored pencils. We explained to our children that we didn’t know if the baby was a boy or a girl, so Dad and Mom picked the name Jesse. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Now, since we can’t tell Jesse anything directly, let’s write a family letter to Jesse. I’ll start: ‘Dear Jesse, even though I’ve never met you or even seen you, I love you & I will miss you very much. I am grateful that God gave you to us for this little while.’”</span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“<i>Now, Mom, what would you like to add… Christian… Josiah…</i>” from the oldest child to the youngest. <i>“Does anyone want to add anything else?” </i></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">When all were satisfied with the letter, I passed it around the table for every member of the family to sign. Then, I said, <i>“Now, let’s decorate it & make it really nice & special for Jesse.” </i>And every member decorated it however they liked with the colored pencils. When all of us were satisfied that the letter was complete, it came time for the teachable moment to come to focus. <i>“We can’t give this letter to Jesse can we? But, God can. So, let’s offer this letter to God and ask Him to deliver it to Jesse for us.”</i> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">We moved to the BBQ pit near the table and I had the kids build a small fire in it. When it was ready, we read about how God collects the prayers of His people in bowls made of gold, & these prayers are incense for Him (Revelation 5.8). I wanted our prayers and this letter to have a sweet aroma for God, so I sprinkled some cinnamon over the top of it. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx5FG9yDnL20w50QMJQMqWxgIY591scO-cx55M6mfsaPHL1gjXpR6hZu6rRN1hlHD07m04AkuQAMV7Q9z39nGJ-vxpLJ1Oi5CpLtijAMQLd-3nqWI2tu8zSWdXCdpyWrkJAJ8cDhuPtF0/s1600/bowl+of+incense+smaller.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx5FG9yDnL20w50QMJQMqWxgIY591scO-cx55M6mfsaPHL1gjXpR6hZu6rRN1hlHD07m04AkuQAMV7Q9z39nGJ-vxpLJ1Oi5CpLtijAMQLd-3nqWI2tu8zSWdXCdpyWrkJAJ8cDhuPtF0/s320/bowl+of+incense+smaller.jpg" t8="true" width="263" /></a></div><i><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">“Oh, yeah. That does smell good, Dad.” </span></span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">So, we all prayed, thanking God again for Jesse and entrusting Jesse to God’s care. Then we asked God to deliver our letter to Jesse. </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">I told my children that what they were going to see was God rolling our letter up into a ball and taking it away. Then, we allowed the kids to each light a portion of the fire. It was exciting to watch the paper roll up into a ball as the flame caught at the edges of our letter.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-size: 11pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Emotionally, it was an extremely draining exercise. However, the acting out and the friction were almost completely eliminated and things got back to <i>‘normal’</i> after a good night’s rest. It gave us all a way to <i>“do something”</i> in response to a situation we could do nothing about. It reassured the children in their helplessness. It brought our fears, confusion, wounded hearts and tear</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt;">s to the great Comforter.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center; text-indent: 0.5in;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt;">...and, He comforted us.</span><span style="font-size: 11pt;"></span></div></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-70190848186805229902011-08-23T20:05:00.000-05:002011-08-23T20:05:15.503-05:00Dibs on the bow-line!<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One of my favorite stories in the Bible is the time that Jesus fell asleep in the back of the boat while His disciples sailed for the far shore after a long day. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped, and they were in great danger.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">To describe commercial fishermen as bikers with different machines and different wardrobes is not far off the mark. You’ll not find a tougher breed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some of these disciples had grown up on this lake and new it well. They were commercial fishermen. These men knew the danger of a sudden storm on the water. These men had braved them before. But tonight, these men were afraid for their lives. Like men driven by fear, they did the only thing they could do. They panicked and woke up the sleeping guy to save them!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXHBq59igIM-U_ldSIIX7Q0Gd95Dp18pHZunC6DfgdYM4HVNct5OLPkDd6kaDs2WyECGEMPrmsQZBkfeX_HhSEeJffXGlevYmjKZX6xZ25FygtjW80WqAq1qNftE1M8Qwh7CLNdJbhKFU/s1600/Storm_35634b.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXHBq59igIM-U_ldSIIX7Q0Gd95Dp18pHZunC6DfgdYM4HVNct5OLPkDd6kaDs2WyECGEMPrmsQZBkfeX_HhSEeJffXGlevYmjKZX6xZ25FygtjW80WqAq1qNftE1M8Qwh7CLNdJbhKFU/s320/Storm_35634b.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now, if you’ve never been offshore in rough weather, I will tell you that it drives into you a feeling of terrified helplessness. It makes you feel small, powerless, feeble, very vulnerable… and frightened. So, when Jesus wakes up and sees what’s going on, I expect Him to show compassion, sympathy, and to express comforting words to calm their fears. After all, the storm is real; the danger, looming.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But, this gentle encourager reprimands his frightened friends. He spanks them. <i>“Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At this point, I want to rewrite the end of the story. I want Jesus to stand up confidently and command the storm to cease. Then, I want to see Him turn to the men and reassuringly say to them, <i>“Don’t you realize that I’m going to take care of you? Now do you realize it? Good, then I’m going to finish my nap and you finish the storm. Let me know when we get there. Storm, back on!”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Everything would be just as it was; everything, except those men. They would be transformed. I can imagine being one of them. I can imagine yelling, <i>“Dibs on the bow-line!”</i> and fighting for the rope tied to the front of the boat so that I could catch the spray of water in my face when we crashed through each wave. Then, like a rollercoaster cresting the highest point in the track, we would plummet down the back of the wave with a triumphant, <i>“Yeeeeee-haw!”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But, we cannot rewrite the story. We must take the spanking in this storm and remember it. We must keep it fresh, because, there is another storm coming. There will always be another storm coming. Some of the storms will be furious squalls that come up quite unexpectedly. The waves will break over the bow of your boat, so that it is nearly swamped. And, you may be in great danger.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When, in the terrified helplessness of that storm, you are tempted to panic once again, you must look to see Him. Fix your eyes on the creator of the storm. He has the authority to command it to stop, but He has chosen to let it rage against you. He can be trusted; can you be trusted? Can you be trusted to cast all of your cares on Him, knowing that He cares for you?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Don’t you realize that I’m going to take care of you?”</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> Trust Him. Put your faith into action. Exercise your faith. Put your faith to the test. You will find that as you trust God in ways you have never had to before, that you will come to know Him in ways you have never known Him before, too. You will discover an intimacy with God that is only found in storms. You will discover, too, that as you learn to persevere through the storms, that you become mature and complete. You will become more and more like Jesus as you draw closer and closer to Jesus.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And, don’t be surprised if storms begin to excite you and you find yourself shouting into the wind and rain, <i>“Dibs on the bow-line!”</i></span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-42839305964860295272011-08-18T19:32:00.004-05:002011-08-18T19:41:41.774-05:00As I endure, I mature.<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We plant a seed. We plant a kernel of wheat to get more wheat. But, we don't get wheat. Instead, we get a plant - a plant that doesn't even look like wheat.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our plant needs attention: resources, and protection, and nurture... and time. Our initial sacrifice of a kernel of wheat was the small part of the cost, and we still don't have a return on our sacrifice - our investment. Contrariwise, the cost keeps going up. Our plant keeps demanding more and more.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This may not seem fair, but it is reality. It is necessary. It is required. We can choose to quit and receive nothing. We can choose to endure and receive the natural results of the process - 30, 60, or even 100 times as much as we planted.</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We plant a kernel of wheat. God grows a plant.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">We care for the plant. God grows wheat.</span><br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKAcn2dmMPKJ2chUmh_MNqx9BBnnuGmlxhdNZ3RFliUiGWJyNTFHSsGlT4bxdaKQa23CeU2_WXeNSafJnB6BxlJDCp3qYAhkCMnUtFk1GIcM3IgvIoMGherPJl5qYR3t-5BerO2MR3ho/s1600/presnting-wheat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmKAcn2dmMPKJ2chUmh_MNqx9BBnnuGmlxhdNZ3RFliUiGWJyNTFHSsGlT4bxdaKQa23CeU2_WXeNSafJnB6BxlJDCp3qYAhkCMnUtFk1GIcM3IgvIoMGherPJl5qYR3t-5BerO2MR3ho/s1600/presnting-wheat.jpg" /></a></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> So, what's the point?</span></div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I routinely pray, <i>"Lord, I want to know You more, and please make me more like Jesus." </i> I get trials and temptations of various kinds. It doesn't look like I got what I was after. But, then I read in James 1.2-4,</span><br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to know Him more. He gives me opportunity to exercise my faith in Him.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to be more like Jesus. He grows my character through trials and temptations.</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I endure, I mature.</span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I endure the trials, I encounter God as He sustains me, encourages me, strengthens me, comforts me. I come to know Him more intimately.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Perseverance is not the goal. It is simply the mark of those who love the Lord. But, perseverance will grow me up. It will make me more mature and complete... more like Jesus.</span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I want to know Him more and to be more like Him.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I get trials, and temptations of various kinds.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I seize these opportunities to exercise my faith in Him.</span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I get to know Him more and become more like Him...</span></i><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8FFNETdq1kq3AZQ1fHHbJ2rX7f8gZkWRRHmErYgPxs5CTBnkSHjaEUdnMF9FhEqCnS4NDLaMAdktVcL_DqAtV30PPzP4VSKFYvSHR_GO_NjtiNFanCH-k3p2yT-YQHk5wkaM7oBGvu_A/s1600/wheat-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8FFNETdq1kq3AZQ1fHHbJ2rX7f8gZkWRRHmErYgPxs5CTBnkSHjaEUdnMF9FhEqCnS4NDLaMAdktVcL_DqAtV30PPzP4VSKFYvSHR_GO_NjtiNFanCH-k3p2yT-YQHk5wkaM7oBGvu_A/s320/wheat-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">30, 60, or even 100 times as much as before.</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-85911593262721496452011-08-11T19:27:00.005-05:002011-08-18T19:28:59.379-05:00my Bucket lists... 1 John 1.9<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Suddenly, I realized that I was exhausted. I was exhausted and could not take another step. My shoulders, arms, back and even my hands ached. So, in a heap, I collapsed between the two buckets I had been carrying. I could not go on. This was as far as I was going to make it. Furthermore, though my physical exhaustion was much easier to recognize and identify, I was emotionally spent, as well. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, at last I began to look around me. As if for the first time, I noticed that the buckets had something in them. Oh, I knew they were full, but I had not given any thought as to what they held. So, from the bucket on my right, I removed a piece of rubble – broken concrete which had no value. It was about the size of a good cantaloupe and weighed a few pounds.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><i>“Why am I carrying this thing around? It’s not even mine; it belongs to someone else. How did it get into my bucket?”</i> Well, it had been placed in my bucket, so without thinking about it, I carried it. I had been carrying it faithfully… No. No, I had been carrying it blindly for at least 6 months now. But, it did not belong to me, so I threw it away. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That felt good.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I reached back into the bucket and came up with another piece of rubble. This one didn’t belong to me either, but I had stolen this one. I felt responsible for this one, so I put it into my own bucket and had carried it ever since. But, it did not belong to me, so I threw it away. </span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">That felt good, too.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over and again I reached into that bucket that was filled with rubble which did not belong to me. And, one piece at a time, I threw it all away. I was bewildered that anyone could be dumb enough to carry a bucket like that. But I had. When I reached the bottom of the bucket, I didn’t need it anymore, because I had nothing to carry in it. So, I threw it away, too. Good? It felt great! It was downright liberating.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, enthusiastically, I turned to the other bucket and removed yet another piece of rubble. Uh oh, oh no, this one did belong to me. I did this one and it was my responsibility. I turned to God, with eyes downcast, <i>“Lord, I did this. It was nothing but my own selfish pride and I was wrong. Will You please forgive me?”</i></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You know what? He did forgive me. Then, He said, <i>“What else is there in that bucket you’ve been carrying?”</i></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, I reached back into the bucket and came up with another piece of rubble. Ouch! This one not only belonged to me, but it had been worn smooth from frequent use. I turned to God, with eyes downcast, <i>“Lord, I did this, too. It was nothing but my own selfish pride and I was wrong. Will You please forgive me?”</i></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You know what? He did forgive me. Then, once again, He said, <i>“What else is there in that bucket?”</i></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Over and again I reached into that bucket that was filled with my own rubble. And, one by one, I brought them to my heavenly Father. I confessed each and every one to Him, and I asked Him if there was any way that He could forgive me for yet another item on my list of sins that seemed to grow by the moment. This was excruciating. It was humiliating. But, He did forgive me – one item at a time. Then, in turn, I threw them all away. I was bewildered that anyone could be dumb enough to carry a bucket like that for so long. But I had.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I reached the bottom of the bucket, I didn’t need it anymore either, because I had nothing left to carry in it. So, I threw it away, too. Good? No, not good. It felt glorious!</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And, there I sat empty-handed, exhausted but refreshed and unhindered by the sins that had so easily entangled me for so long. God had permitted me to dump them out and He took them away. I was free - free to take Him by the hand, and He helped me to my feet. My legs were still a bit wobbly, but I could lean on Him for stability.</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When, I finally looked to see where I was, I turned around to discover what should have been no surprise. That long, arduous journey which took me in so many circles, had, at long last, taken me right back to the cross. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And, at that moment, it did not enter my mind that</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He had taken away the sins of the world. </span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">All that I could think was that He had taken away mine.</span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6pF7gpoobfOntiz4SGOh5ETNdUWtxxb4dFoXvAv3aa9ymfvycvvbD56JzGPIaHN6itfrh1166td9VwsGj6Xoj7oLuL_qPXdG24_o-DypR6nD7i1U2xFHHcf3qD0RM_a5-iFwuF-wSLo/s1600/cross+rejoice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjt6pF7gpoobfOntiz4SGOh5ETNdUWtxxb4dFoXvAv3aa9ymfvycvvbD56JzGPIaHN6itfrh1166td9VwsGj6Xoj7oLuL_qPXdG24_o-DypR6nD7i1U2xFHHcf3qD0RM_a5-iFwuF-wSLo/s1600/cross+rejoice.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><br />
</div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-1126912915210602272011-08-04T19:47:00.000-05:002011-08-04T19:47:04.620-05:00Confidentiality: exceptions<div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbfPWV7caK8dHr3mQUsoGb4NQK4IlDk5gdcH_9zEQAO92d5YlgvroPiz0tKVBnfaQGA75e5qIbbba9NzoHFHEypTEHWMgh4OO629GfJ40mJbszFahR277dsPxypmiukYvgGd-IkQdzMdo/s1600/Confidentiality+Stamp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="319" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbfPWV7caK8dHr3mQUsoGb4NQK4IlDk5gdcH_9zEQAO92d5YlgvroPiz0tKVBnfaQGA75e5qIbbba9NzoHFHEypTEHWMgh4OO629GfJ40mJbszFahR277dsPxypmiukYvgGd-IkQdzMdo/s320/Confidentiality+Stamp.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">exceptions</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Confidentiality: exceptions</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If you want to know specifics of the legal parameters of confidentiality, then you will want to do some research for your particular field and state, but here are the exceptions to confidentiality:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Confidentiality still requires counseling professionals to report three circumstances to authorities (police, state abuse agency, state health board, spouse - to whomever the case concerns):</b></span></div><ol start="1" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;" type="1"><li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>suspecting child abuse or endangering</b></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>elderly abuse</b></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>an IMMEDIATE threat to your life or someone else’s life (including the individual)</b></span></li>
</ol><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Counselors, even pastoral counselors should always tell their clients when such information will be released, and to whom. It may be a useful idea to have some sort of sheet to explain boundaries and expectations for anything resembling formal counseling. If you have such an instrument, then you will want to explain the exceptions listed above.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have had to report suspected abuse, and the reporting was a painless process. After explaining to the client why I was going to report what they told me, I made the phone call while they sat with me. This permitted them to hear everything I was saying, and permitted me to ask clarifying questions for accuracy.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I was given a reference #, and the </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">name of the </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">individual who took my information, along with her ID #. I copied this info down along with the date and filed it for future reference. It’s a good idea, during this interview, to ask what the client can expect from this point forward. This will allow you to educate them so they can begin to prepare themselves, and minimize their fears.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">NOTE: Staying calm throughout this process and speaking softly and evenly will help the individual to stay calm. </span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-70628674484570925042011-08-02T18:47:00.003-05:002011-08-02T19:01:57.566-05:00Deal-Breakers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7kbD7NUVtN375U3dmhWju7c6QShDbngdnt8UKu-T7UCTDk5Jcnr-byR8Rw-zu4egS8tt-sc3mh7w9ua5kEufpoei5WrDL5F17H8Ee-xX0Ju_oDXefgmcdHStFHtM0WRjRR2ridoIzcAw/s1600/relationship-deal-breakers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7kbD7NUVtN375U3dmhWju7c6QShDbngdnt8UKu-T7UCTDk5Jcnr-byR8Rw-zu4egS8tt-sc3mh7w9ua5kEufpoei5WrDL5F17H8Ee-xX0Ju_oDXefgmcdHStFHtM0WRjRR2ridoIzcAw/s320/relationship-deal-breakers.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When someone asks me to do their wedding ceremony, I insist on meeting with them before I commit to do their ceremony. One area I pry into is deal-breakers. This usually goes something like this:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Is there anything in him/her that you cannot live with for the rest of your life? </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Is there anything about him/her that you won’t let your child(ren) live with?”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For example:</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i>-<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Abuse: physical, sexual, verbal, emotional</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i>-<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Addictions: substances, pornography, behaviors, relationships</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i>-<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Infidelity: let’s talk intimacy – physical, emotional, spiritual</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
<br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For all of these things, repentance is required so that the relationship can be reconciled. Repentance does not insure reconciliation, but, reconciliation is not possible without repentance. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Note that repentance does not mean that everything is alright.</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> If everything was alright, then there would be no need for repentance.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can only recommend courses of action. I cannot force anyone to do anything. Also, these are very general, because the details will vary dramatically from one relationship to another. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTheY0FTbXUgEVS0qywwH8xxTwCS8_c5mPaGXGCB2WgV1uN-BvjOfiTkDKDB_rMsejDnQKg9Vq8p_1z-_w3rZUmO7qGhvWpFH-nKsznXu0Q7rT0qznF591fkKRzM8Rb_JsTmNXC-IIvG8/s1600/thumbs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="122" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTheY0FTbXUgEVS0qywwH8xxTwCS8_c5mPaGXGCB2WgV1uN-BvjOfiTkDKDB_rMsejDnQKg9Vq8p_1z-_w3rZUmO7qGhvWpFH-nKsznXu0Q7rT0qznF591fkKRzM8Rb_JsTmNXC-IIvG8/s320/thumbs.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For <b><u>pre-marital counseling</u></b>, if there are any of the issues of <u>abuse</u> listed above, especially the physical or sexual, then I recommend the relationship be ended now and boundaries be put into place to protect the other individual(s). If any of the <u>addictions</u> listed above are involved, then I recommend the relationship be ended now and boundaries be put into place to protect the victim(s). If there is <u>infidelity</u> (physical), then I recommend the relationship be ended now and boundaries be put into place to protect the victim(s). Notice that I refer to them as, “Deal-Breakers.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For <b><u>marriage counseling</u></b>, if there are any of the issues of <u><i>abuse</i></u> listed above, especially the physical or sexual, then I recommend separation now and boundaries be put into place to protect the victim(s). This may include calling the Police, an attorney, and a counselor(s) who is able to provide long-term counseling. The boundaries will include separation, a restraining order, financial support of the family, and accountability to a handful of hand-picked men in the church. There will also be specific, measurable goals to be met prior to ending the separation, as well as goals to work at after ending the separation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If any of the <u><i>addictions</i></u> listed above are involved, then I recommend help now and boundaries be put into place to protect the victim(s). These may include separation, detox clinic, AA (or equivalent), counseling (individual and together), accountability to a handful of hand-picked men (including financial accountability to account for every dollar). Accountability software is a great idea if the computer is used to feed any addiction(s). </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There will also be specific, measurable goals to be met prior to ending the separation, as well as goals to work at after ending the separation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If there is <u><i>infidelity</i></u> (physical or emotional), then I recommend boundaries be put into place to protect the victim(s). This may include separation, a restraining order, financial support of the family, scrutinizing the phone records, access to all areas of the computer (including passwords), counseling (individual and together), and accountability to a handful of hand-picked men in the church. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There will also be specific, measurable goals to be met prior to ending the separation, as well as goals to work at after ending the separation.</span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For all of these things, repentance is required</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">so that the relationship can be reconciled.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Repentance does not insure reconciliation, but,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">reconciliation is not possible without repentance. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Note that repentance does not mean that everything is alright. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">If everything was alright, then there would be no need for repentance.</span></div></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-38333516348011501472011-07-28T20:34:00.000-05:002011-07-28T20:34:41.172-05:00#1 issue I deal with in Pastoral Counseling...<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">We have all sinned. If people are willing to discuss this idea, I find that all are willing to admit that it’s true. But, how often do you sin?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"> Once a year? Once a month? Once a week? Once a day? Am I getting warm yet?</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">The truth is that we all sin every day, and probably multiple times. So, the natural follow-up question is:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><i> How often do you repent and seek forgiveness?</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">This is the #1 issue I deal with in Pastoral Counseling with families and marriages, as well as with individuals. I am stunned at the way the majority of people react to the idea as if it’s brand new – or at least new to them. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq4MTQQhvq6j6PPIORGtd5CHtpcUUa_Jz3FbVisUOuH34h3-t2Qud0dhjUrsrt575jjdO7Nm1qKhyphenhyphen3saiM0zpM3G7wACs0w1iEvmtOyMvZmphpzawluUl5BNNsix7QF3k5SzuYh2XGH7A/s1600/bowingdown-1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq4MTQQhvq6j6PPIORGtd5CHtpcUUa_Jz3FbVisUOuH34h3-t2Qud0dhjUrsrt575jjdO7Nm1qKhyphenhyphen3saiM0zpM3G7wACs0w1iEvmtOyMvZmphpzawluUl5BNNsix7QF3k5SzuYh2XGH7A/s320/bowingdown-1.gif" width="320" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwHatNLG-xW3cnQCcetm6IrB5lXJgXS4nr1iqZ_eqeQ8ngsT0EzkAuXdK9fvBsteaOzB63Z4CzVoC4PhJAN5gVgy_8jeYigGLuHREzID63IOYEhG9wdtIfzOWXEIm9IzI4YfPMA2EHaIk/s1600/bowingdown-1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The first difficulty I observe with forgiveness, is blaming. For example, <i>“Well, yes that was wrong, but I would’ve never done it if he/she hadn’t done this!”</i> Sounds a lot like Adam and Eve, doesn't it? This is where I will spend some time to bring all of us to the truth: You are responsible for your own actions. <i>“</i><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 115%;">God ‘will repay each person according to what they have done’”</span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 9.5pt; line-height: 115%;"> (Romans 2.6).</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we all come together around this truth, I will ask something like, <i>“Was what you did wrong?”</i> And, if they say, <i>“Yes, but…”</i> then I will cut them off and clarify, <i>“This is a Yes or No question. So, was what you did wrong, Yes or No?”</i> When they will acknowledge their fault, then the next thing you want to teach them to do is to follow through in obedience by seeking forgiveness.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One husband I spoke with acknowledged: <i>“Yes, I hurt my wife deeply. Yes, that was wrong. Yes, I need to seek her forgiveness.”</i> Then, without hesitation, he did nothing. For the next 45 minutes, he danced around the statement, <i>“Yes, I need to seek her forgiveness. I should do that.”</i> Finally, I had him turn to face his crying wife and coached him through the 4 toughest words he had ever had to say to her: <i>“Will you forgive me?”</i></span></div><div style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">These steps are very simple, but not easy. Contrariwise, it can be exhausting and can generate an abundance of strong emotions. <i>“</i></span><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” </span></i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">(Joshua 1.9). </span><i>"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" </i>(1 John 1.9). <span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">We must love them closer to Christ, and never compromise truth. </span></span></div><div style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
</span></div><div style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">Truths like: </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">> sin requires repentance</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">> forgiveness does not require repentance – you can still forgive the unrepentant</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11pt;">> reconciliation requires both repentance and forgiveness</span></span></div><div style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% white;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="color: black;">You may have difficulty with these statements. That’s fine, because they are hard to live… at first. But, let me ask you something:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> <i>How often do you repent and seek forgiveness?</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-48577070368623341532011-07-26T19:30:00.000-05:002011-07-26T19:30:02.185-05:00Please, Lord, change my bandages and clean my wounds.<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">As a 13 year old boy, I was feeling positively triumphant with the pile of gunpowder I’d collected from “dud” firecrackers. I remember thinking, <i>“This is going to be SO cool when I light this!”</i> My eager anticipation instantly turned to agony, fear and dread in an explosive flash.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It was my first experience with 2<sup>nd</sup> degree burns, and unfortunately, it was my face and both hands. For the next few weeks, I wore my stupidity for all to see. My face, at least the left half, had lost the outer layer of skin (as well as the eyebrow and eyelash), and my hands were both bandaged to the point that I had to enlist my Dad’s help to be able to accomplish a trip to the bathroom. It was a most humiliating time for me.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Every afternoon, I would lie down on the couch and Dad would tell me, <i>“This is going to be unpleasant.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhndXk6SUDGQddJ62w-Zjk9PEkC3zE4KMd6CP7LSbM4ccDZez5zf0EDMVbr3MA8d-QSghBbjDf81qqg0mz_Bo-6ila_Ksg25IqF31zKuARoS8jEtJjhSmAnvkQbnjX00OpMUaZTlR6kvYs/s1600/wound-care.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhndXk6SUDGQddJ62w-Zjk9PEkC3zE4KMd6CP7LSbM4ccDZez5zf0EDMVbr3MA8d-QSghBbjDf81qqg0mz_Bo-6ila_Ksg25IqF31zKuARoS8jEtJjhSmAnvkQbnjX00OpMUaZTlR6kvYs/s1600/wound-care.jpg" /></a></div><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“I know, Dad.”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“You cannot move.”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">“I know, Dad.”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Then, my Dad would take some medical scissors and gently, thoroughly cut away at the edge of the burned skin as it continued to die back; the palm of my left hand, the back of my right hand, and the left half of my face. Next, my Dad would take a Q-tip and scrub the freshly exposed new skin with ointment. How excruciating!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">It was love put into action, but it did not feel like love. It felt like torture. But, I did not have to submit to this treatment. I was a healthy teenager, and I could outrun my Dad with no difficulty.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">However, because I chose to submit to my Dad’s care – cleaning and dressing my wounds – I have no visible marks of any kind to indicate that I have ever been burned. Because I chose to submit to my Dad’s care, I am healed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Life is neither neat, nor fair. This is especially true in relationships. We are all wounded, and will be from time to time. And, from time to time, bitterness and resentment will begin to rise up in us. When this happens, it means that it is time to forgive again, because this is the stench of infection beginning to set in. This odor tells us that it is time to change the bandages and clean the wounds… again.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Arial;">When we forgive those who have wounded us, it is love put into action. When God changes our bandages and cleans our wounds, it is His love put into action, but it does not feel like love. It feels like torture, and I do not have to submit to this treatment. However, if I choose to submit to my Father’s care – cleaning and dressing my wounded heart – then, re-cleaning and re-dressing my wounded heart...</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial;">...then, I will be healed. </span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-55465135992646314342011-07-17T09:07:00.000-05:002011-07-17T09:07:27.245-05:00Wounds from a sincere friend<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Most will turn a blind eye to my sins, but I am grateful to God for those friends who pull me aside to help me to look in the mirror to see what I am doing. They help me stop my ridiculous charge - headlong into destruction. That is a selfless love.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">Proverbs 27.6</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">1 Peter 4.8</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXhka8quGlpamTvI37eAkG-6Q7NUQA-MwLcjokL9rbUoYrvSFDvmnqxKiGa_2RXw5ZR8MFM3nD-C4jbQoM7_6FCzvb0MWMVslgGABHmmj_SZNLsEkaxD84CuBjqvKid8anTZZsvpYEwOE/s1600/hold_me_accountable_tshirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div><div style="text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXhka8quGlpamTvI37eAkG-6Q7NUQA-MwLcjokL9rbUoYrvSFDvmnqxKiGa_2RXw5ZR8MFM3nD-C4jbQoM7_6FCzvb0MWMVslgGABHmmj_SZNLsEkaxD84CuBjqvKid8anTZZsvpYEwOE/s1600/hold_me_accountable_tshirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXhka8quGlpamTvI37eAkG-6Q7NUQA-MwLcjokL9rbUoYrvSFDvmnqxKiGa_2RXw5ZR8MFM3nD-C4jbQoM7_6FCzvb0MWMVslgGABHmmj_SZNLsEkaxD84CuBjqvKid8anTZZsvpYEwOE/s1600/hold_me_accountable_tshirt.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If it is you being confronted, examine the critique. Is there any truth to it? If so, be quick to repent and seek forgiveness. Be thorough and leave nothing undone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">This accountability is an undervalued role in the Church today. Dare to love like that. It may not turn out as you expect, and may, in fact, prove to be a costly choice to you. Dare to love like that anyway. Who knows, in doing so, you just might win your brother back!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.”<b><span style="font-family: Papyrus; font-weight: normal;"> Luke 17:3</span></b></span></i><br />
</div><div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">“My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.” James 5.19-20</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This accountability is an undervalued role in the Church today. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is a crucial role in counseling. </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It is essential in Christian relationships.</span></div></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-38241939962353999362011-07-12T21:05:00.000-05:002011-07-12T21:05:58.695-05:00I can't carry this any further...<div class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">“Spiritual Help Line. How can I help you?”</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzmfLzHV_rCZQvhmdKXgIff0gezpW6vlK3EsHEJQtptwXioNHbij8CnjzV10rKywf4IFW2N6_MqAo4_LEJ1Fjsf9WsQDkSGJPQNompKI8pSJ3hU9TdZnZRY86RErQZ1IblbVbMXwmpFF4/s1600/Helpline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzmfLzHV_rCZQvhmdKXgIff0gezpW6vlK3EsHEJQtptwXioNHbij8CnjzV10rKywf4IFW2N6_MqAo4_LEJ1Fjsf9WsQDkSGJPQNompKI8pSJ3hU9TdZnZRY86RErQZ1IblbVbMXwmpFF4/s200/Helpline.jpg" width="143" /></a></div><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I never knew how the person on the other end of the line would answer that question. It was a national broadcast, and there was no way to identify the identity or location of the callers. One day the response was, <i>“I’ve got a loaded gun on my lap and you’ve got 1 minute to talk me out of using it.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The only responses I could coax out of the man were, “<i>Yes</i>” or “<i>No</i>”. Eventually, I gleaned enough information from him to determine that he was angry at God about something, and it was something fresh and painful. So, having failed at all previous attempts to get the man to talk, I decided to provoke him. It worked. He took my bait and started pushing back at me. I, in essence, dared him to tell God why he was angry. Somehow I managed to talk the guy into praying, but believe me, he wasn’t the only one praying. He began to tell God about the pain, and then stopped. He bellowed into the phone, <i>“…and if that’s the kind of God you are… then, FINE!”</i> …< click ></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">As I heard the dial tone, I threw the phone off of the hook and dropped to the floor, pleading with God, <i>“Lord, stop him! Let him miss… misfire… only injure himself… just STOP HIM, PLEASE!” </i> My mind was pulsing with adrenaline, and played and replayed the conversation in my mind. What if…? What if…? What if…? What if…? What if…? WHAT IF!!!?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I went from adrenaline to exhaustion rather quickly. I couldn’t reach any answers to the questions that crowded my mind like popping popcorn. I couldn’t continue to play the what-ifs. I couldn’t carry it any further!</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">... so, I carried it to God. </span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I walked up to the front of the church, and knelt. In my mind’s eye, I saw myeself place a small, golden box on the steps. I placed the whole conversation into the box. I put the lid on. I tied a golden ribbon on top to hold the lid in place. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then, I removed my hands from the box and turned my eyes toward heaven. And I poured my heart out, <i>“Lord, I will answer for every word, every action, and every thought. I did what seemed best. I did all I could think to do. I sought to honor You and this man. Please, Lord, forgive me for my short-comings, but, I cannot carry this any further. I need You to carry it from here. So, I give it to You.” </i> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then, I stood. I turned around. And, I walked away. I didn’t look back, and I’ve never wanted to open that box again…</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1st5lg8ZZnTS5MwAs-x-5PgifxUhXPamblaTuaKwF-dvRq-qQcy-wBea5tgM9Q8GrPUVRg0lGrKO69TOBa9uCnZav2KFIBdx5f-QEtiU6d-zee2PcJ2tO-KPhBNasfwlCIwqAwvd9XaA/s1600/gold+box.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1st5lg8ZZnTS5MwAs-x-5PgifxUhXPamblaTuaKwF-dvRq-qQcy-wBea5tgM9Q8GrPUVRg0lGrKO69TOBa9uCnZav2KFIBdx5f-QEtiU6d-zee2PcJ2tO-KPhBNasfwlCIwqAwvd9XaA/s1600/gold+box.jpg" /></a><span style="font-family: Calibri;">…because it’s not mine. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I gave it to God. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It belongs to Him now.</span></div><br />
<br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some burdens, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">some grief, </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">some wounds </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">are too heavy to carry. </span><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;"> </span></i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time He will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” 1 Peter 5.6-7.</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I’ll never know the outcome of that morning. But my Lord knows. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What about you? What burdens are you straining to carry? What grief needs comforting? What wounds need to be cleaned and re-bandaged? What wrongs do you need to forgive? For what wrongs do you need to seek forgiveness?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Approach God with your gift. Put all of these things into the box, one at a time. Place the lid on it. Now, tie it up with a nice ribbon and take your hands off of it. It’s not yours to carry anymore...</span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> …because it’s not yours. </span></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You gave it to God. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It belongs to Him now. </span></div><br />
<div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Let Him carry it from here.</span></div></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-9072536044050869312011-07-07T20:09:00.000-05:002011-07-07T20:09:12.407-05:00Tonight, I watched another miracle happen!<div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tonight I watched another miracle happen. God reaches into lives torn apart by the ravages of sin. Our sin affects our relationship with God. Our sin affects others. But people don’t seek out counsel when they are tempted. I don’t get to meet them until sin has given birth and relationships are dying.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Papyrus;">“each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” James 1.14-15</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">However, these dying relationships are symptoms – symptoms of what has become the pattern of this relationship. This dying is the grandchild of the evil desires of the individuals. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is an abundance of strong emotion being churned out by wounds, some of them fresh and some festering. When this happens, anger is prevalent. There is a lot of jabbing at each other. There is much dredging up of lists of grievances. There is a tearing of the heart – loathing the thought of being hurt anymore and yearning for reconciliation.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When this becomes another round in the ongoing fight, I call time-out and draw attention to myself - I draw attention away from them. To derail this runaway train, I ask, <i>“What is it you want to accomplish here?”</i> Their answers generally will not match the behavior they’ve just displayed. So, I pursue their answers. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I educate:</span></div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Forgiveness does not require anything. I can forgive anyone.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Repentance does not require forgiveness. I can repent whether I'm forgiven or not. But, repentance does require that I seek forgiveness.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Reconciliation requires both repentance and forgiveness. The relationship cannot mend without both.</span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I encourage:</span></div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Ephesians 5.21-33</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">1 Peter 2.19-23; 3.9-12</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Philippians 2.3-4</span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I instruct:</span></div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Leave nothing undone on your part. Seek forgiveness for everything you’ve done wrong. Ask, <i>“Will you please forgive me?”</i></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Grant forgiveness. Say, <i>“I do forgive you.”</i></span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I pray with them:</span><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy5pELLeyg-NiBsjj9pMGxZN7-UqthCR0XikPSxfRLXGst8zfhMG9MuaYaT8cNUU21Hop2Hw3itvIOr0QoaFI5o-Kg7U_9pvcigz9sTXyKVK81EG414bhIT3866Zb8U2yqOYn7AvgdUUk/s1600/Praying-Hands-on-Bible-with-Text-Overlay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy5pELLeyg-NiBsjj9pMGxZN7-UqthCR0XikPSxfRLXGst8zfhMG9MuaYaT8cNUU21Hop2Hw3itvIOr0QoaFI5o-Kg7U_9pvcigz9sTXyKVK81EG414bhIT3866Zb8U2yqOYn7AvgdUUk/s320/Praying-Hands-on-Bible-with-Text-Overlay.jpg" width="320" /></a></div></div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lord, please clean and bind their wounds so they will heal and not become infected.</span></li>
</ul><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span><br />
<ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lord, please wrap your arms around them like a warm blanket and hold them tight and close.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lord, please pour Your peace over them like a healing, soothing ointment.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lord, please convict them over the things for which they need to seek forgiveness.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lord, please surround their home with Your angels to protect them from all enemies of the cross (Psalm 91.11), so that their home will become a sanctuary where peace will begin to reign.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lord, please breathe hope into their lives. Please calm their storms. Please heal what is hurt, fix what is broken, and clean what is dirty.</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lord, please teach them how to do the hard work of seeking forgiveness, repenting, and changing things so that this crisis will not continue on this downhill slide.</span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGn5uuCa7p35wJtnfrqrlGjOKpMgguI-4Pj5rc15XCIdg1HDTCXHSveaSAtmhWT6J1mPaVWqEKiODOCJU1AYrdrAQTjjvEGm3CI-8fHs06H3-yuAxzD1LgNUbG-EArYtIUQsWC4l9FmHE/s1600/couple-holding-hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGn5uuCa7p35wJtnfrqrlGjOKpMgguI-4Pj5rc15XCIdg1HDTCXHSveaSAtmhWT6J1mPaVWqEKiODOCJU1AYrdrAQTjjvEGm3CI-8fHs06H3-yuAxzD1LgNUbG-EArYtIUQsWC4l9FmHE/s320/couple-holding-hands.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I watched one of these couples hold hands while we prayed tonight. I watched them change from attacking to acknowledging their own responsibility for wrongs. I watched them walk through the door with hope.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tonight, I watched another miracle happen!</span></i></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-59176191305023201872011-07-05T20:27:00.000-05:002011-07-05T20:27:14.980-05:00Communication = What did you say? I wasn’t listening.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I asked one of my sons to dump the compost bucket out by the garden and to take the ½ & ½ which had gone bad, too.<span> </span>He said, <i>“Ok”</i> and headed to the kitchen.<span> </span>My wife stopped him and told me to ask him what I had said.<span> </span>So, I did.<span> </span>Then, with a sigh, which revealed a bit of aggravation, my son replied, <i>“You said, ‘Dump out the compost bucket with ½ on one side of the garden and ½ on the other side.’”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">What we had there was a failure to communicate.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For communication to occur, there are 3, and only 3, necessary components.<span> </span>You can add anything to them and still have communication, but if you take away any of these 3, then you do not have communication.<span> </span>Communication is a <u>message</u> with both a <u>sender</u> and a <u>receiver</u>.<span> </span>If the receiver chooses to reject the message, or disbelieve the message, then communication can still occur as long as the receiver understands the message.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFnEX2PVUtuHqMl376Oe002bbgrR9KmbdUcHoWqxsEyEwt712ec-hqu4MbSdXsR0H4Z-ghpNllz7hWeQih4BSWBUA6TOEYxvvjS3af3bIziILDtl9K1Nx_eLtPvDATtfs-N4StlsommZs/s1600/communication-skills.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFnEX2PVUtuHqMl376Oe002bbgrR9KmbdUcHoWqxsEyEwt712ec-hqu4MbSdXsR0H4Z-ghpNllz7hWeQih4BSWBUA6TOEYxvvjS3af3bIziILDtl9K1Nx_eLtPvDATtfs-N4StlsommZs/s320/communication-skills.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Communication = message + sender + receiver</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Some common obstacles to communication include:</span></div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not sending the message</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not being clear when sending the message</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not listening</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Passive listening</span></li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not sending the message:</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span> </span>someone simply shuts up and doesn’t speak.<span> </span>Well, even when this happens, they are sending a message, but it is usually, <i>“Leave me alone”</i>.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not being clear when sending the message:</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span> </span>finally diagnosing this problem may have saved our marriage.<span> </span>It certainly saved us many headaches and heartaches.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would say something and my wife would react with heat.<span> </span>I would shout, <i>“That’s not what I meant.”<span> </span></i>And she would shout back, <i>“Then, why did you say it?”</i><span> </span>So, I would say something else and my wife would react with more heat.<span> </span>I would shout, <i>“That’s not what I meant either.”<span> </span></i>And she would shout back, <i>“Then, why did you say it?”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">On this would continue until, at long last, she would ask, <i>“Wait a minute, are you saying this?”<span> </span></i>My cautious response would be something like, <i>“Not exactly, but that’s getting closer.”<span> </span></i>At this point, we were beginning to dig me out of the hole I’d been digging.<span> </span>When, finally, she would say, <i>“Oh, you’re trying to say this…”</i>, then I would sift it around for awhile until I would declare triumphantly, <i>“Yes, I think that’s it!”</i><span> </span>Her encouraging reply was something like, <i>“We were never going to get there from where you started.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">From this dialogue, we developed our “Do-over” rule.<span> </span>I love the “Do-over” rule!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Not listening:</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span> </span>What did you say?<span> </span>I wasn’t listening.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Passive listening:</span></b><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span> </span>someone simply isn’t paying attention.<span> </span>The easiest way to identify when this is happening is when I turn and ask something brainless like:<span> </span><i>“Did you just say, ‘Put lime in it?’”</i><span> </span>And the answer is always something simple like:<span> </span><i>“No.<span> </span>I said, ‘What time is it?’”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">If the person is speaking directly to me, and I am aware of it, then I communicate that the person(s) talking to me aren’t really important enough for me to pay attention to them.<span> </span>How dishonoring!<span> </span>However, it’s not possible to pay full attention to everything that goes on around you, so passive listening will naturally occur from time to time. <span> </span>When this happens, Passive listening does provide some laughs.<span> </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">For example:<span> </span>my son replied, <i>“You said, ‘Dump out the compost bucket with ½ on one side of the garden and ½ on the other side.’”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-90316646666580584062011-06-30T19:54:00.000-05:002011-06-30T19:54:13.625-05:00Orienting your life<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I teach Scouts about how to use a map and compass, it always tickles me to hear them say things like, <i>“I wouldn’t be lost if I had a compass or a map.”</i> So I say, <i>“Without discussing it, point to North.” </i>Did you know that 6 Scouts can point in up to 6 directions? at the same time? However, there will usually be 1 or 2 who change their mind to agree with a friend, so that leaves roughly 4 directions.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhggGr79H9vUOwgCN2GGb46-3srGKlQ4N_KLSDFXXzlJV-qDHSiOsoBX41bNZp5SxrFAimh5pjV-F4_ZD2amCbLMaSGkUAS4J6pzlG0xmtYbC_Z-qInnhsGy-M9v_179ysUYfOHOeNxhsw/s1600/compass+rose.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhggGr79H9vUOwgCN2GGb46-3srGKlQ4N_KLSDFXXzlJV-qDHSiOsoBX41bNZp5SxrFAimh5pjV-F4_ZD2amCbLMaSGkUAS4J6pzlG0xmtYbC_Z-qInnhsGy-M9v_179ysUYfOHOeNxhsw/s1600/compass+rose.gif" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now they each begin to have an uneasy feeling in the pit of their stomach which is trying to tell them that they don’t know what they’re talking about. If I am feeling particularly mischievous, I hand them a map and repeat the order, <i>“Without discussing it, point to North.” </i>The map doesn’t do much to clear up the confusion, but it does appear to do so for a moment. When the Scouts see the compass rose on the map, they think it must be telling them which way North is in the real world. Wrong. That compass rose tells them which way North is on the map. What they need is someone or something to tell them which way North is in the real world, so they can orient their map to the real world. What they need is a compass.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We often do the same thing. We often go through life thinking that we have it figured out. We run from one distraction to the next until we find we’ve lost our bearings. We’re lost. We all have some sort of map by which we strive to navigate our way through life. But maps don’t do much good unless they agree with truth. Even if my map has all the correct information on it, and identifies where I am, I am still in trouble if my map says North is in the wrong direction.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhiInnFPwugToA1vKa_z2GmfUrFs73l8V06u28cRYG5OeBmFq66ogu83oanJsVGl8CoabheHrBbd7yWlmwwJsNeezc0XZ47VH0OfB1e_CwLr7yM0-ZiIsw8funUZ6CIwd-f05ooyfzwo8/s1600/bible+compass.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhiInnFPwugToA1vKa_z2GmfUrFs73l8V06u28cRYG5OeBmFq66ogu83oanJsVGl8CoabheHrBbd7yWlmwwJsNeezc0XZ47VH0OfB1e_CwLr7yM0-ZiIsw8funUZ6CIwd-f05ooyfzwo8/s1600/bible+compass.jpg" /></a></div><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Bible is God’s Word, it is truth. Whenever there is a discrepancy between my life and the Bible, it is my life which is wrong. Where my life disagrees with the Bible, it is my life which must adjust. I must change my life to line up with the Bible. I must orient my life to agree with God’s Word. Furthermore, the Bible is not only our compass, but also our map to guide us through life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I find myself in counseling situations of open, willful, defiant sin, I will use an example like this to try to help them see that we don’t get to tell the compass which way is North. The compass tells us, and we must decide whether to submit. If we choose to submit, then it will guide us. If we choose to defy, then we do so at our own peril.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We don’t get to tell God what is right and what is wrong. He tells us, and we decide whether to submit. If we choose to submit to God, surrendering our lives to be lived in obedience to Him, then we have the benefit of His guidance, the comfort of His presence, and many other blessings besides. However, if we choose to defy Him, then we do so at our own peril.</span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-59751146505592687942011-06-28T19:21:00.000-05:002011-06-28T19:21:46.610-05:00#1 Tool for Parenting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit1NMiNwuENBZeHOrf1oVjL4_CAC9NVlzm2hC5RkBYU6bHrNLZLmc3vho_9mCdGINHlGY3JbrGEp8Pg2HEcPLoruOMV6O1_n3sUbeB3Ieod9zPE9tmI4gdZ154ht7FWQ3Q_0m3xuzLUTg/s1600/toolman.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" i$="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit1NMiNwuENBZeHOrf1oVjL4_CAC9NVlzm2hC5RkBYU6bHrNLZLmc3vho_9mCdGINHlGY3JbrGEp8Pg2HEcPLoruOMV6O1_n3sUbeB3Ieod9zPE9tmI4gdZ154ht7FWQ3Q_0m3xuzLUTg/s320/toolman.bmp" width="320" /></a></div><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:BrowserLevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style>
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<div class="Section1" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <div class="MsoNormal">The best wisdom I have to offer regarding parenting has come from 1 source, but has been reinforced through my own experiences, as well.<span> </span>Permit me to introduce it this way:<span> </span>if God is our heavenly Father, and He is, then I should be able to learn how to be a father by observing, and learning from, Him.<span> </span>It just makes sense.<span> </span>The best way I can do this is to spend some time with the Bible, specifically observing how God handled situations as a Father.<span> </span>For example:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Genesis 2-3</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The Father:</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 6pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Set up boundaries for the children</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">- Met all of the children's needs</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Gave clear instructions with consequences</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Assigned clear responsibilities to the children</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The children:<span> </span>disobey the Father’s clear instructions, choosing the consequences determined by the Father</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The Father:<span> </span>confronted disobedience and chased it to its source – <i>“Have you done what I commanded you not to do?”</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.75in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.75in;">Adam:<span> </span>blamed someone else - <i>“Yes, but it’s her fault.”</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The Father:<span> </span><i>“Is this true?”</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.75in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.75in;">Eve:<span> </span>blamed someone else - <i>“Yes, but it’s his fault.”</i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">The Father:<span> </span>handed out punishments to each individual involved, starting from the source and moving down the line.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><i>“Serpent, here are the consequences you’ve chosen.”</i></div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><i>“Eve, here are the consequences you’ve chosen”</i></div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span><i>“Adam, here are the consequences you’ve chosen.”</i></div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;">The Father:<span> </span></div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Followed through on what He said He would do.<span> </span>He honored His own words.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Set up new boundaries to protect against new threats.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">Observations: _________________________________________________<br />
<br />
</div></div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span> <div class="Section2" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> <div class="ListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>The Father did not yell or scream.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>The Father did not get upset.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>The Father did not negotiate.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>The Father did not repeat Himself.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>The Father did not compromise His initial positions.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Knowing what the consequences would be, the children chose to disobey.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>The children hid from the Father – guilt often leads to avoidance.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>The children blamed someone else.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span><span>-<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span></span>Finally, the children submitted, so no further punishment was necessary.</div></div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; line-height: 115%;"><br clear="all" style="page-break-before: auto;" /> </span> <div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Applications I can make to my own life: _____________________________</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin: 0in 0in 6pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span>·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span>I need to set up boundaries for my children.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span>·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span>I must meet all of my childrens' needs, and clear communication is one of their needs.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span>·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span>I must give clear instructions with consequences.<span> </span></div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span> </span><i>“If you choose to obey, then you choose this set of consequences.</i></div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i><span></span>If you choose to disobey, then you choose this other set of consequences.”</i></div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.25in; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span>·<span style="font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span>I must assign clear responsibilities to my children.<span> </span>If I am to assign responsibilities to them, then I must also give clear instruction and make certain that they are capable of meeting those responsibilities.<span> </span>This sets them up both for success, and my praise for a job well done to reinforce these behaviors.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0in;">Now, when I follow God’s example, I am training my children to obey me, respect authority, and ultimately, I am preparing my children to obey God, too.<span> </span>Further, I am disciplining myself to be a godly parent.</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0in;"><br />
</div><div class="ListParagraphCxSpLast" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0in;">Thank you, Lord, for Your example. Please help me to live that example for my children.</div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-56825865159594644522011-06-23T18:50:00.000-05:002011-06-23T18:50:56.885-05:00Here is a poem I use frequently at funerals as a closer.I also use it with my patients when they are willing to discuss dying. There is much hope to be found in its few lines. Death may be undesirable, but it is also both natural and unavoidable. You will die. Everyone will die. But death is not the end...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQVBG7mE9Zl5z0RXfsT97NFGTofNms1zNMecZLseYgOVN8DQFav7UQpAE369bhA4fm_3RXk7QAddwUv_qyUrSFF1rDqgxmJfJPpLY1cNmwVdSAQBqiO8AoD8pOlqSjNHuNEL_CyGm2xRA/s1600/1240565-L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQVBG7mE9Zl5z0RXfsT97NFGTofNms1zNMecZLseYgOVN8DQFav7UQpAE369bhA4fm_3RXk7QAddwUv_qyUrSFF1rDqgxmJfJPpLY1cNmwVdSAQBqiO8AoD8pOlqSjNHuNEL_CyGm2xRA/s320/1240565-L.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span style="color: teal;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Gone From My Sight</span></b> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: teal;">by Henry Van Dyke</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am standing upon the seashore. A ship, at my side, spreads her white sails to the moving breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until, at length, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Then, someone at my side says, "There, she is gone."</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Gone where?</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast, hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And, she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Her diminished size is in me -- not in her. And, just at the moment when someone says, "There, she is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "Here she comes!"</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">And that is dying...</div></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;">Praise the Lord. That is life!</div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-66024000367253265682011-06-16T21:59:00.007-05:002011-06-28T20:59:43.544-05:00Carnival Adventure<div style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcLA2xjdb2Q92tafDB0Mx8clieoBklv7lBifUSXndNB8WESSo7tw0xB7jNVIJ4hEx-9dbX7GGV4RwkclqYjUqxsxUWvg1mpVtju5hH3pqUjYOPEhhIb2ZLKNovAda9h5STD2tMNMJZifg/s1600/DSCI0974.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcLA2xjdb2Q92tafDB0Mx8clieoBklv7lBifUSXndNB8WESSo7tw0xB7jNVIJ4hEx-9dbX7GGV4RwkclqYjUqxsxUWvg1mpVtju5hH3pqUjYOPEhhIb2ZLKNovAda9h5STD2tMNMJZifg/s320/DSCI0974.JPG" t8="true" width="320" /></a>Carnival Adventure by Carl Schneider</div><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I watched my children laugh today.</span></div><div style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I watched them stand in line.</span></div><div style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I smiled from within & I couldn’t contain it.</span></div><div style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I watched them jump into many adventures, each one a piece of life – the ultimate adventure.</span></div><div style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I laughed at my children today – not with arrogance or malice or spite, but simply because I was a part of their world… and children laugh.</span></div><div style="margin-left: 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Calibri", "sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was a part of my children’s world today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I made them take my by the hand so I could keep them safe… no, so I could lead them safely through my world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In reality, they took me by the hand and led me safely into theirs.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I laughed with my children today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am Dad. I am Husband. I am Head-of-household.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am Protector. I am Teacher.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a man of responsibility.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was a child, I lived as a child, but when I became a man I put childish things away… reluctantly?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, begrudgingly… resentfully… almost with a promise of vengeance whispered within – silently mourning a wrongful death, and refusing to let go of it.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>But, my childhood is gone.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
<span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I have children now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am no longer a child.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Children are a gift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God Almighty has given me 6 wonderful gifts – </span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because He loves me</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because He trusts me</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I am Dad… a man of great responsibility.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My childhood is gone now.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My children took me by the hand and led me safely into their world today.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because they love me</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Because they trust me</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They let me share their childhood.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I thank You, Lord, for the wonderful gifts.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I love You, too</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I trust You</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I thank you, children, for the wonderful gift.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I love you, too</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I trust you</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I laughed with my children today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a man of tremendous responsibility…</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But, today…</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 2;"> </span>I became a child again.</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Love,</span></span></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0pt 0.25in; text-align: center; text-indent: 0.25in;"><span style="font-size: 12pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dad</span></span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-52070055221951273602011-06-07T18:40:00.000-05:002011-06-07T18:40:12.076-05:00Treasure vs. Trash<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We were on the hunt. Carefully stalking our prey, we were both armed and dangerous… and hungry. Suddenly, we both spotted it. I looked at Joe to see if he had seen it, and he was looking right back at me. Then, we both emptied our hands and charged. I got to it first - a locked metal box on the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, it had to be Pirate treasure!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We sat on the bottom in about 85 feet of water, miles from shore, trying to pry the lid open and stirring up the mud, making the water very murky. I grabbed Joe’s hand and patted his sheathed knife, so he unsheathed his blade. I guided the blade to where the lid latched and gave a thumbs up. Joe twisted, and his knife popped loose. I quickly checked the tip and realized that it had slipped off of the box. So, we tried again. It popped again, but this time, the box was open!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We could see about as well as if we were in a sea of chocolate milk, so couldn’t tell what was inside of that valuable chest. All we could think to do was sit still and wait. We waited some more, and then more. It seemed as if the water didn’t want to clear, but little by little we could see the box; then, shapes within the box. They were cylindrical, like a stack of coins, perhaps. When, at long last, we could tell what we were looking at, we both laughed – at ourselves and then at each other and then at ourselves again. We laughed long and loud because we were holding a broken meter box which had been discarded or dropped from the drilling platform where we were diving.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Then, as if someone had turned on a light in a dark room, we both stopped and looked around frantically. It had dawned on us both at the same moment that we had discarded our spearguns when we so eagerly charged the broken box. We threw away something which had high value to us, to chase after someone else’s garbage, which had no value to anyone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I deliberately choose to never forget that day. It serves as a bare reminder of how easily I can become distracted from what matters most: my Lord, my wife and family, truth and my integrity. Sometimes, I discard something which has high value, to chase after someone else’s garbage, which has no value to anyone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Too often in life, we forget what matters most. Without giving it any real thought, we begin chasing after the wrong things - someone else’s garbage, which has no value to anyone.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We would be wise to deliberately remind ourselves of the most valuable things in life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We would be wise to deliberately remind our family of the most valuable things in life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We would be wise to deliberately remind others of the most valuable things in life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We would be compassionate to call them back to the most valuable things in life.</span></div>Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8077523741647461270.post-926849637566337062011-06-02T18:52:00.000-05:002011-06-02T18:52:35.396-05:00Unhinderedly ~ Acts 28.31The author of the book of Acts ends the text with an adverb: "unhinderedly". This adverb modifies the verbs, "preaching" and "teaching". In this case, "preaching the kingdom of God and teaching concerning the Lord Jesus Christ " (Acts 28.31). I believe that he is declaring that the Gospel is "unhindered" as it makes its way from Jerusalem, to Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest parts of the earth (Acts 1.8). Therefore, his aim is to proclaim that the Gospel is not hindered and that the work begun by Jesus is enduring today. <br />
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The heart of God is unhindered. He loves you so much that He would rather die than live without you. The heart of God was unhindered by death, even death on the cross.<br />
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So, how do we respond to a love like this? We either run from Him... defiantly... proudly. Or, we submit to Him - come back to Him like the broken, lone-prodigal we are. And when we come to the end of ourselves, and discover that there is no cost too high... no obstacle too great... no distance too far... no distraction too enticing... we seek Him unhinderedly.<br />
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When we return to Him, we discover many things. We discover that we come dirty, broken, messed up. Jesus takes us up in His strong arms and cleans us... fixes what was broken... binds our wounds... forgives us... heals us... takes us by the hand and shows us how to walk rightly. <br />
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I have all of this in mind as I write "hearts unhindered". His heart has ever been unhindered. He wants for me to learn to love in the same way... to love Him... to love my wife... to love my family... to love my church... to love the world... even to love myself... unhinderedly.Carlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13260426304136329260noreply@blogger.com0